Yamato in Wonderland
by KaitouMiko
Summary: Poor Yamato didn't want to do his homework and ended up in wonderland. What will he do? Will he ever escape? Will it be as awful as this summary? AU. Taito with a sprinkling of Daiken. Rated for sexual innuendoes and somewhat drug use.
1. Of duty and procrastination

Kaitoumiko: Hello, everyone! Finally got around to posting a fic. er...let's hope I finish it.

Yamato: One miracle at a time.

Kaitoumiko: Shut up, you. Do the Disclaimer.

Yamato: -rolls eyes- She does not own Digimon or Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland or any version of wonderland to begin with.

Kaitoumiko: Obviously AU and a bit OOC.....

Yamato: A bit?

Kaitoumiko: Oh! I almost forgot! Taito and Daiken—and other random couplings.

Taichi: You forgot to mention cross-dressing. Enjoy.

----------------------------

Yamato in Wonderland

Of duty and procrastination

Yamato was staring drearily out the window wondering why the hell he had to do homework. He condemned the fool who thought that homework would instill worldly understanding unto the poor innocent victims who could not get enough of the damn subject during class.

"Damn teachers," he grumbled to himself, seeing as he was alone in his apartment. "Who the hell uses trig?"

He turned his attention from the window to glare at the unopened math book across the room, sitting stubbornly in the same place it had been lounging at for three days. The blond walked up to the math book begrudgingly, plopping down on his chair.

He wished he were a super genius or at least a freak that could psychically finish homework by staring at a book. Being neither, he tired of the staring contest he was having with the math book—and much to his chagrin losing. He opted to toss it under his bed, where it found solace in the company of Physics.

It wasn't _his_ fault that all the subjects he was taking were dull, boring and complicated. Yamato sighed brushing stray locks from his face. He was bored. Nothing to do and no one to talk to. Not that he would want to talk to anyone anyway, he thought leering in the direction of his textbooks.

Standing up, he decided he had a very important date with the television, now that his schedule was open. Unfortunately that proved utterly dull, as nothing good is ever on TV on Sunday. Yet he couldn't quite bring himself to change the channel after having thrown the remote across the room when he had realized it was Sunday afternoon and all that lay in his wake were cheesy 80's movies and infomercials. Regrettably, he had chosen to throw his remote at the moment the "Revo" hair style infomercial started blaring.

His eyes had by now glazed over and unfocused stared in the general direction of the television. He had started to button and unbutton the bottom button of his burgundy shirt incessantly trying to ignore the bad acting of the "real life" testimonials.

"I should go on that to prove you don't need to buy a stupid brush to have great hair" he muttered to the TV. "You're just born with it." Much too annoyed at the program to realize how narcissistic he sounded.

Finally he got tired of staring at the dumb thing, especially since the bastards had purchased the next time slot as well, meaning he was going to have to sit through the horrible thing again. So that being said, he decided to go for a stroll, having been cooped up all day finally taken its toll.

Yamato looked at himself in the mirror making sure he looked decent. He cringed; smoothing the wrinkles he had acquired from sitting on the couch way to long in the same position, and then made sure his hair was in place before kicking on his shoes and locking the door behind him.

The fresh breeze actually felt refreshing—at least at first—in comparison to the stuffy apartment he had just exited. He paused a bit considering where exactly he should be walking to deciding he should go to the park. It being the only place he could go and loiter legally.

By the time he finally had gotten to the park he realized it was kinda chilly and was muttering something about crazy inconsistent fall weather when a boy with indigo locks and the weirdest getup he'd ever seen ran into him sending them both tumbling forward in a tangled mess. "I'm late!"

"You should at least—"Yamato propped himself up with his elbows to stare at the boy who was sprawled on top of him; actually taking the time to _really_ look at the boy. That's when all thought left him as he noticed said boy was wearing white bunny ears, only to realize that he _had_ white bunny ears.

"Oh no, I'm late!!" the bunny boy panicked staring at his large pocket watch. Yamato stared at the boy dumbly as the prior attempted to untangle himself from the latter. Bunny boy turned to look at Yamato muttering an apology before taking off in a mad dash toward the bridge.

"_Since when do boys have bunny ears?"_ the blond contemplated "Wait!" he shouted pelting after him.

Unfortunately for Yamato the fates were against him. Something he should have realized before curiosity got the better of him.

to be continued...

-------------------------

Kaitoumiko: Well that was short. Oh and I don't own that Revo thing. Remember it is AU, please don't eat me. -cowers- I have no idea what tv is really like in Japan and it works out anyway--in the story I mean...sort of at least? ...wait a minute--

silence

Kaitoumiko: Hey where did everyone go? -walks in on Taichi and Yamato-

Kaitoumiko: I thought I told you that you were going to help me!

-drags Yamato off of Taichi-

Yamato: Why don't you go get Ken! He's—

Kaitoumiko: He's busy with Daisuke.

Yamato: And we weren't?

Taichi: Review, please. (whispers) But be nice because she's a crybaby.

Kaitoumiko: -glares- And just when I was considering letting Yama go... -looks around innocently-

Taichi: Wait! no, er, just kidding?


	2. Of prisoners and talking doors

Yamato: And you didn't even care that she pried me off of you?

Taichi: She threatened to lock me up in the broom closet for a whole month without you.

Yamato: That explains things.......When did she do that?

Taichi: Before she started writing this awful-y wonderful fic. -smile-

Yamato: Wha?

Kaitoumiko: Boo! Wow, people are actually reading the second chapter?

Yamato: no kidding. o.o;;;

Kaitoumiko: Don't own Digimon or Alice in Wonderland either.

Taichi: Taito, Daiken other random couplings and cross-dressing still apply. Enjoy.

------------------

Yamato in Wonderland

Of prisoners and talking doors

The distance to the bridge wasn't quite that far from where they had fallen, being only a few meters away. At first the blond had thought that Bunny boy was going to go over the bridge, since there was nothing but garbage and more often than not, a half sleeping drunk underneath it. However, the Bunny boy either unaware of its conditions or not caring ran into it, disappearing from Yamato's line sight. The blond on the other hand, thought that meeting the Bunny boy far outweighed what awaited him under the bridge following the other boy.

So it wasn't until it was too late, that Yamato had chased the boy under the bridge—at least it was a bridge when he had ran beneath it.

Yamato blinked to find himself in a small room.

"What the," he turned around but he was only greeted by a wall. "Wasn't I in Odaiba? _This is why you don't chase Bunny boys under bridges _he mentally kicked himself.

The room itself was sparsely decorated with only a table at its center and a door no bigger or wider than a foot straight ahead.

"Come to think of it," Yamato glanced around, "where _is_ Bunny boy?

And as if being stuck in a room alone with only a table and the smallest door in the world wasn't enough, he looked to find

"—a DRESS?!" he cried outraged tugging indignantly at the dress. His favorite long sleeved collared shirt and black pants that hugged him in all the right ways were gone; replaced with a black French maid uniform and knee high black boots with two inch heels no less. Much to his annoyance he noticed he also had a huge ribbon tied behind him. "Prolly holds the crummy white apron in place," he grumbled, murderously glancing at the walls.

"This better _be_ some fucked up dream." He threatened to no one in particular, though he should have been thankful that he didn't have the little hat to top off the ensemble. Not that Yamato had notice though, feeling like a cheap whore in gothic Lolita cosplay.

He crossed his arms crossly, wondering how the hell the slight detail of wearing a dress had escaped him to begin with. Though, his features soften a bit, once he remembered begrudgingly that he had eaten week old chocolate. Which would not have been all that bad, if he had actually remembered to put it away. "That must have been it," he contemplated. "I thought it tasted rather funny..."

He sighed, plopping down on the floor miserably. "I wonder where Bunny boy went."

"Like I said," grated a voice "He went through me."

"Through who?" suddenly springing to his feet.

"Me." replied the voice.

Yamato looked around the room suspiciously, having suddenly become overwhelmed with a wave of paranoia. "Where are you 'Me'"

"I'm the door you idiot."

"Since when do doors talk?"

"Since when do boys wear dresses?" retorted the door.

Yamato glared knives picking up the sharpest thing he could find which was a key from the table. He, however, being blinded with rage had failed to notice it was a key and not just a random sharp phallic object he could jab the door with.

"And that's supposed to scare me?" The blond looked down at the key in his hand and shrugged.

"It opens you doesn't it?

He kneeled down and opened the door smoothly only to find himself confronted with another problem.

"Thought you were so smart," the door said snidely "How the hell you gonna go through now?"

The blond cursed. For a moment, he stared longingly at the receding bunny boy, "I'm late!" being heard in soft diminishing intervals. Then he tipped himself over with a thud on the floor. Hopeless. He was utterly and absolutely hopeless.

The door laughed at him and Yamato in turn glared at it.

"You are my prisoner," cackled the door.

"What's with me today," he muttered to himself, sitting up to scan the room for anything useful.

"Are you ignoring me girly boy?" the door spat quite peeved, she wasn't used to being ignored. "I said 'you're my prisoner!' "

The blond stood up abruptly to inspect the contents of the table further, it being the only thing in the room besides him and the confounded door.

"Oi! Are you even listening?"

A little jar stared up at Yamato from its place on the table and without thinking he picked it up for closer inspection.

"Drink Me," he read continuing ignoring the door.

Well it can't get worst than wearing a dress and being stuck with a talking door he figured, consuming half the jar.

Of course he should also have realized all odds were against him, however...

"Mmm... strawberry," he was about to take another sip when he began to shrink.

"Who ever heard of something so bloody ridiculous," he scowled muttering. He turned to the door noting he was now the correct size to go through.

"Finally," the blond sighed. Things were finally starting to look brighter, especially after the shrink spell.

The door however was not going to let him have his way and locked herself.

And out the window went all euphoria with the slam of the door. He crept closer turning the knob to find it locked.

"I unlocked you!" he cried, whining like a three year old.

"I told you that you were my prisoner and you are staying that way." The door said smugly.

Yamato did the only thing any rational person would do when locked into a small space. Kick the door down while cursing vibrant insults.

"Stop hitting me you bastard it hurts!" exclaimed the door materializing into a girl.

"And you are?" the blonde asked casually raising an eyebrow.

"The door," snapped the brown-haired girl, "and that hurt you dolt." taking her compact out to estimate damage done.

"Look, I just wanted to get through," he spat, "how was I supposed to know that a door turned into a girl!"

The girl snapped the compact shut. "I don't know where you come from but banging and kicking never got anyone anywhere and it isn't gonna work for you either."

Yamato opened his mouth to say something.

"Don't even start," she snapped "I said you were my prisoner and you are going to stay that way."

"So what exactly do you want me to do door?" he asked sarcastically "Have me starve to death? Is that your idea of fun?"

"Idiot. Of course not, but I do get awfully lonesome." She paused as if considering something then added, "Call me Jun. Door sounds kinda dingy, anyway we have all the time in the world to get to know each other, my love."

"Fine door, Jun whatever," he grinded through his teeth "It's been real fun but I really have to get going now." He let out a brittle laugh following it with a painful smile.

The door was unimpressed.

"Why do you want to leave anyway?" She circled her arms around his waist, which startled him into a panic. "It would be nice just the two of us."

"Well I," he stammered, "It's none of your business now—"

"Of course it is," she pulled him into a closer embrace, "you are my prisoner."

He pushed at her rabidly in a pathetic attempt to get away but was greatly disadvantaged, doors tended to be quite stubborn.

Instead of being torn away the door laughed and held him closer, if that was at all possible. Yamato slumped miserably against her, defeated.

"See this isn't all that bad, my Yama-chan," she cooed. "Why would you want to leave me to begin with my darling Yama-sama?"

He sighed. "The white rabbit." He said flatly. "I'm looking for him."

The door straightened and much to the blonde's relief released him. "hmmm..interesting."

Not knowing what else to do Yamato glared at his keeper. "That's all you have to say? 'Interesting'?"

"Well, seeing as you saw the white rabbit I could possibly make a few arrangements..."

His blue eyes lit up instantly, "arrangements?"

Jun waved her hand flippantly and shrugged "I rather have a willing prisoner; it's too much of a chore to break one."

He nearly jumped for joy; he thanked every deity known to man for letting him out of this small hell.

She eyed him, a small sly smile crossing her face.

"Of course, you have to kiss me first." She said matter-of-factly, pursing her lips.

Yamato's face dropped. "Why do I have to kiss you?

"Because I'm the door and I say so."

He opened his mouth but sound and all spoken word eluded him.

"And you're going to leave how?"

"Fine."

He'd at least have a chance to find Bunny boy and see where he was headed.

With a deep determined breath he stepped forward, hesitantly placing a quick peck on her cheek.

"That's cheating Yama-kins" she wheedled pointing to her lips.

Rolling his eyes he dove for another peck and found himself on the other side.

"I'm free!" A sigh of relief escaped him.

_Now that I am on track _he thought_ where is Bunny boy?_

He turned to look behind him but any trace of a door had disappeared. Instead he was left standing on a winding dirt path in the middle of what seemed a vast forest. _I guess Bunny boy went that way..._ he reasoned as it was the only path he could see and figured it was the path he had seen beyond the door.

The blonde stared dubiously at the path before him.

"The longer I stand here the less likely it'll be that I'll catch up." he lectured himself. "Then again I can just get lost in this crazy land where doors not only talk but transform into girls and guys have to wear dresses." He shifted uncertainly.

"On second thought, I can't be anymore lost than I already am."

And with that, he journeyed forth through the narrow side winding path before him.

To be continued....

--------------------

Taichi: Haven't you noticed that Ken isn't wearing a dress Yama?

Yamato: Ask Kaitoumiko, I sure hell would have noticed. –glares-

Kaitoumiko: You're in shock Yama! It's only natural that you miss that...and don't ruin the story Taichi or else I'm keeping Yamato for myself.

Taichi: How did I ruin it! Who bloody else has indigo hair besides Ken!

Kaitoumiko: -pouts- Fine, you don't have to be mean about it.

Yamato: Please review...Taichi she's getting that look again—

Kaitoumiko: What look?


	3. Of oceanic aphrodisiacs in the forest

Ken: You know Jyou has blue hair too...It _could_ have been him...

Miyako: You look way cuter in bunny ears though.

Ken: -glare- Where is our intrepid author anyway?

Kaitoumiko: -sparkle- I'm so happy! I have three reviews! Pinkypig, force of habit and minnermon reviewed my story! –faints-

Ken: Think she'd be mad if I let Yamato and Taichi out of their cells?

Miyako: The broom and linen closets?

Daisuke: Too late already did. Oooooh! Have you done the disclaimer? I want to do it!

Miyako: Knock yourself out.

Daisuke: Kaitoumiko does not own Digimon or Alice in Wonderland. This chapter contains err what the? um Oikada?

Ken: Oikawa and Iori's dad show up in this? How?

Miyako: Why don't we find out?

-----------------------------

Yamato in Wonderland

Of oceanic aphrodisiacs in the forest

He walked for what seemed hours on the long never-ending path. In actuality it had only been half an hour.

"How do girls stand these damn things," he griped, as his feet were sore and felt blistered. "Stupid boots."

"Stupid dress," he muttered under his breath deciding it was of utmost importance to find a nice tree to sit under. And although this meant straying not only from his path but from his mission as well, he felt tending to his poor feet and cursing the person who'd given them to him was of priority.

Hence, he found himself wandering a bit too far from the path, that or it had disappeared behind him. But he couldn't tell nor could he bring himself to care at this point.

The forest around him was in fact quite pretty and he would have quite enjoyed the beautiful moss covered ground, the dewy mushrooms in colorful patches and the nice and shady trees; had it not been for his discomfort.

Instead he glanced over all these curiosities until he finally laid his eyes on what he was looking for.

A place to sit.

He let out the second sigh of relief that day as he sat down on a large uplifted root of an even larger tree.

"My poor feet," he lamented. "This is what I get for not doing trig."

Yamato frowned. "I could have stayed at home, but no—I had to go to the park. I just _had _to follow Bunny boy...and now I'm lost and alone."

"Great. Just what I needed." he spat plucking at his apron angrily. "I should have stayed at home..." he added gloomily, tilting his head up to look at the sky that filtered through the lush treetops. For a moment he felt at peace and leaned against the tree trunk quietly muttering himself to sleep.

"You think it's a boy?"

"I don't know it's wearing a dress."

"So it's a girl?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"But you said it's wearing a dress."

By now Yamato had become fully awake and was completely outraged that he could ever be mistaken for a girl. So it was with no surprised and quite an understatement to say that he was a tad miffed.

"I'm a boy you dolts!" he fumed, coming face to face with two girls.

"Told you it was a boy," said the brunette.

"You said you didn't know," retorted the violet haired bespeckled one.

Now if Yamato had not been so irked to begin with, he probably would have outright laughed at the two ridiculously clad girls. That however, was not the case.

The girls on the other hand were having fits of giggles and wore horrendous matching red and white sailor outfits. Oddly enough they wore nurse hats with Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum respectively embroidered on their hats. And if that wasn't enough, sproingy springs topped with fuzzy red balls that wobble back and forth were perched at the top corners of said hats.

"I'm Sora and this is Miyako." introduced the brunette.

"But for some reason people call us Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum." chirped Miyako shaking her head to accentuate the names with the wobbling of the springs.

"So what's your name?" Sora batted her lashes flirtatiously.

He looked from one to the other incredulously.

"I'm leaving" he stood to leave cringing slightly, as his weight had shifted to his feet again.

"That's a bit harsh don't you think Sora-chan?"

"Very much so." She turned to look at a disgruntled Yamato. "It's not very nice to ignore people."

"Nice to meet you." He said curtly. "Now if you don't mind I really have to be going—"

The girls blocked his path.

"It's rude to leave in mid conversation." scolded Miyako.

"What conversation?" he demanded.

"So what's your name?" prodded Sora.

Yamato frowned and attempted without avail to walk around the girls, a cement wall seemed easier to breach in comparison.

"We can always call him 'Blondie'" suggested Miyako.

"So how'd you wind up here _Blondie_?" queried Sora mischievously.

"The name's Yamato" he spat tersely.

"My, my what a temper." chided the brunette.

"Want to hear a story?" asked Miyako.

"Actually, I just need to find a way out." he said as nicely as possible. But his smile looked too much like a grimace to be pulled off.

"A story it is," stated Sora.

The blond looked at them as if they had just lost their minds.

"I just want a way out, not a story."

"But it's a good story." pouted Miyako.

"I don't care."

"Look, now you've made her cry." scolded Sora

"Fine. Tell me a story." he capitulated, sitting back down on the tree root.

"Yay" exclaimed Miyako.

"Weren't you just crying?"

But both girls ignored him completely neither one wanting to put the story on hold any longer.

"This is the tragedy of the carpenter and the oysters." announced Sora.

"I've heard this one," the blonde griped. "Isn't it the _walrus_ and the carpenter anyway?"

"Once upon a time in a land of wonder," started Miyako, disregarding his comment. "lived two dashing carpenters, one named Oikawa and the other Hida. The first stealing the other from his wife and child."

"But it makes no difference when one is married to a mouse." added Sora.

"I thought this story was about oysters," Yamato remarked dryly.

"It will," the girl adjusted her glasses. "Eventually."

He rolled his eyes.

"Oikawa was a ghastly fellow who loved to travel and drag his love trophy across the land."

"Which probably was to display the Hida cutie anyway," interjected Miyako "who was the polar opposite and had a cheerful disposition."

"One day, they were walking down the beach scoping out a place where they could settle down to live happily ever after. The day was bright and sunny with a wonderful sea breeze, the sand beneath their feet nice and cool—"

"Wouldn't the sand be hot?" interrupted the blond hotly.

"That's silly. Who's ever heard of hot sand?" laughed Miyako.

He gaped at the hysterically laughing girls, disbelievingly throwing his hands up in utter resignation. After all it was quite useless.

"Look Oikawa-chan," said Hida. "Isn't that the most wonderful location?"

Oikawa looked over to inspect what the younger man was pointing at.

Just beyond the bend a few yards away lay a bluff. A quaint cliff really, which reached out toward the ocean having had most of its bottom eaten away by the rolling waves below.

"Whatever you wish my darling love," the dark man conceded, placing a kiss on his lover's forehead.

Within a month, they had built a huge mansion and managed to furnish it too. How, is still a question but, they _were_ carpenters after all—well at least Hida was. As they stood back admiring their handiwork the precipice gave way where the pool would have been sending them plunging into the sea below. Luckily, they were uninjured and quickly swam to the surface to gasp for air. But not before Oikawa got an eyeful of the treasure trove below.

A huge arsenal of oysters! Quite the aphrodisiac and Hida's favorite dish.

As soon as both made it safely to shore and eyed the cliff warily, Oikawa turned to his love to announce his discovery. Hida cheered, for they had been eating sea weed and sea cucumbers which he was quite tired of.

"Go get everything ready in the kitchen dear," Oikawa said "I'll be there in a minute."

Hida nodded, skipping happily to their mansion to prepare the dining hall for supper. Oikawa stared at the smaller man until he disappeared into their not so humble abode. Satisfied that he arrived safely, he dove into the ocean once more and harvested all the oysters he could find using his coat as a net and dragged them to shore. He toted them happily to his mansion where Hida stood anxiously waiting at the doorway.

"I'm so happy," he cried. "What a perfect way to start our life together."

Oikawa stopped himself from rolling his eyes at the sheer sappiness of the comment instead asking "Did you set bread out on the table?"

"No." replied Hida with a frown. "I'll go get it, sit down and set the oysters on the table!" He kissed him swiftly on the cheek before running to the kitchen.

The tall ghastly men hefted his catch on his shoulder once more and carried it to their grand dining room--much too big and elaborate for two people alone. He found the table set with flowers and candles along with the needed dishware and the sort.

However, instead of being a gentleman and placing the horde of oysters on the silver platter allotted for them, he opted to eat one.

"It doesn't hurt to start without him," he reasoned. "Not that he would notice one measly oyster is missing anyway."

But by the time Hida had cut the bread and come out to the dining room he had already eaten a third of the oysters.

"Hida-chan" he said, distracting his love from the pile of oysters, "you forgot the salt and pepper and all the special sauces."

"That's right!" he exclaimed smiling. "How could I forget Oikawa-chan! You are so considerate." And with that, he ran back into the kitchen—this time taking a bit longer since he had to prepare said sauces. He sincerely had been so excited that he really had only set the table.

By the time he had actually finished and taken everything to the dining room he noticed Oikawa looked a bit odd.

"What's wrong dear?" he asked concerned, putting the platter down. "Do you have a fever?"

He reached over to feel his lover's forehead only to be swatted away.

"No darling, I don't. But I lament to say," he paused dramatically, inching closer to his loves face. "I have eaten all the oysters."

"All of them?" gasped Hida unbelievingly taking a careful glimpse at the oyster pile for the first time.

"Every last one."

"We can always get some—"

"Every. Last. One." he repeated.

Hida's face fell, betrayal staining his face. Didn't he love him? Had he not left him even one? That was all he would have needed, just one to know that Oikawa cared.

"How could you?" his green eyes narrowed, tone dangerously low.

"They were delicious. I couldn't stop eating." Oikawa said flippantly.

Hida was dizzy; his vocabulary became limited to "How could you" which he repeated like a mantra. The world around him in a clichéd sense collapsed.

"It's okay Hida-chan; I have something much more delicious for you to eat."

Hida unfortunately didn't get to find out the details of what it was exactly since Oikawa fell over dead."

"He died?" exclaimed Yamato. Although he would never admit to either girl, he rather liked the outlandish story.

"Yep," nodded Miyako. "Completely forgot that they were poisonous."

"At least in large quantities like that." added Sora.

"So, what happened to Hida?" asked the blond.

"Some say he killed himself with the loss of his love," said Miyako dramatically with a stabbing motion to her chest and a plop to the ground.

"Others say he went back to his wife." said Sora. "That or he lives by himself in the mansion, I forget which."

"Oh." Yamato responded. He stood abruptly, smoothing his dress down. "Well, it's been nice—"

"Where are you going," demanded the bespeckled girl sitting up.

"To find Bunny boy," he stated bluntly, looking around the forest. "But first a way out of here, if only I could remember the direction I came from..."

"You mean an indigo haired boy with bunny ears like this?" asked Sora giving the sitting Miyako bunny ears.

"Yeah, you've seen him?" his eyes lit up with hope.

"And he goes running about screaming "I'm late! I'm late!'?" asked Miyako.

"That's him!" His optimism escalated into new heights.

"Him?" asked Sora pointing at the wanted poster that Miyako had just pulled out of her sailor outfit.

"Do you know where he is?"

Miyako tossed the scroll aside. "No idea but do you want to hear another story?"

Yamato growled in frustration and stomped off eastward. At least, he thought it was eastward, in an attempt to get as far away from the girls as possible. That and to find a way out of the dumb forest.

"What's wrong with him?"

Sora shrugged "Beats me."

They continued to watch him until he disappeared into the forest.

"You gonna go after him?" teased Miyako

"Who said I liked him?" retorted the Cheshire cat, climbing out of the tree. He inspected his coat for tears, completely missing the fact that Miyako never mentioned him liking Yamato.

"Whatever do you mean dear?" Sora asked innocently.

"We had no idea you were up in that tree eavesdropping the whole while."

He glared at the two girls, "Whatever," he spat, turning abruptly eastward.

"He does like him." giggled Miyako.

"Shut up!" shouted the Cheshire cat disappearing into the forest.

To be continued...

------------------------------

Miyako: ... I don't know what to say

Ken: You look ridiculous.

Miyako: Don't remind me...

Kaitoumiko: -becomes concious- Did I miss anything?

Miyako: Daisuke released Taichi and Yamato.

Kaitoumiko: -sparkle- I have three reviews!

Daisuke: Ha! She didn't even notice! I didn't get in trouble! Nya nya nya...

Ken: Review please! It makes her walk around smiling giddily like an idiot. As an end note, we aren't really sure about the ages of Oikawa or Iori's dad...but does it matter? Uh.. Dai-chan, I wouldn't provoke Miyako...


	4. Of rhetoric and hallucinogens

Kaitoumiko: -glow- Thank you so much for reviewing my story! I enjoy reading the reviews you write me so much! It really brightens my day. And don't worry Redvind, it will soon be R...in a few more chapters. And thank you for taking time to read my story Luma-chan—

Ken: It's starting to sound like a sappy Oscar acceptance speech.

Kaitoumiko: You're just mad because Miyako took Daisuke away from you.

Ken: ...

Kaitoumiko: Anyway, thank you again minnermon, force of habit and Pinkypig as well as penpaper. I really can't tell you how happy you make me.

Miyako: She's still prattling on?

Ken: -glare-

Miyako: Not letting him go till I hear an apology pretty boy. Kaitoumiko does not own Digimon or Alice in Wonderland. This chapter also contains the use of mushrooms for medicinal purposes.

Ken: ...can that really be counted as medicinal though?

--------------------

Yamato in Wonderland

Of rhetoric and hallucinogens

Yamato kicked a rock impatiently. He'd been walking for what seemed forever and would have thought in circles if it would not have been for the fact that he had yet to run into twiddle and twaddle something or other. It did not cross his mind however, that they could have wandered away.

At any rate, he was being followed by a rather mysterious fellow and remained quite oblivious of him, despite the fellow's close proximity.

After what seemed an eternity longer that it already had been, he stumbled into a mushroom patch in the middle of a clearing. The gigantic size of the mushrooms no longer surprised him as he had become accustomed to a land in which doors talk and boys wear dresses.

So when Yamato walked around ducking and scooting along the patch and found a red headed boy with antennas on his head sitting upon a mushroom, he did not even question it as abnormal.

"Where am I?" asked the blonde startling the other boy. As he came closer, and mushrooms no longer obstructed his vision, he noticed that the boy wore a brown coat with coattails and green striped trousers which vaguely reminded him of a used car salesman. He frowned. The boy's fingers were flying over a laptop and Yamato was beginning to become convinced he had not been heard at all.

"You're here." stated the boy distractedly, staring intently at his computer.

Yamato withered. "I can see that," he muttered under his breath.

He paused staring at the other type incessantly.

"Why aren't you wearing a dress," demanded Yamato.

The other boy looked down, regarding Yamato for the first time. "The question is, Why are _you_ wearing a dress?"

"I wasn't until I arrived here." He snapped.

"You already were wearing it when you got here." Antennae boy shot back.

Yamato growled "That's not what I meant," he scowled. "You didn't even look down at me to see what I was wearing to begin with! You were staring at that stupid computer!"

"So where are your other clothes?" He asked with slow deliberate patience.

Yamato's face fell.

"Exactly."

"Do you know a way out of here?" asked Yamato resignedly. There was no point in arguing with a person who lacked common sense.

"Why?"

"I need to find Bunny boy." Yamato let out a long sigh. "I followed him into a tunnel and the next thing I knew I was stuck here, and worst of all I lost him and now I'm lost and I have nowhere to go." He realized he probably sounded like a whining three year old but couldn't bring himself to care.

"What's your name?"

"Yamato. Yours?" The blonde had barely realized that the boy had yet to introduce himself since every other person he had met had volunteered the information readily.

"I'm the Caterpillar."

"Nice to meet you Caterpillar," he said wearily. "I'll be on my way now, if you don't mind."

"Wait!" The caterpillar bit his lower lip. "I think I might be able to track who you are looking for."

Yamato's eyes lit up. "Seriously? You're not going to tell weird stories about carpenters and oysters are you?" The blond backed away slightly, unconsciously, at the mere thought.

"No, although I see you've met Sora and Miya."

The blonde cringed.

"Is this him?" the caterpillar asked turning the computer toward Yamato.

"That's him!" He suddenly was immersed with a weird sense of Déjà vu.

The wanted poster featuring the Bunny boy stared back at him.

"He's the White Rabbit." informed the caterpillar gesturing to a nearby mushroom. "Sit down this might take awhile.

Yamato sighed for the umpteenth time that day hopping up on the toadstool, his feet instantly grateful. He glowered at an unaware Caterpillar for no real reason, besides directing his anger at someone. He felt like little Miss Muffet. "All I need is whey and a spider." He muttered aloud.

"I don't believe you'll come across a spider." Came the distant reply from the caterpillar having only half heard Yamato's ramblings.

"I wasn't—never mind." Yamato propped his head up with his hand. "Can you hurry it up Caterpillar?"

"Actually you can call me Koushirou."

Yamato had half a mind to argue that he should have introduced himself as such and not "The Caterpillar." But by now he had come to terms with his lose/lose situation.

"Well, you see it's a bit complicated," stumbled Koushirou. "It really doesn't matter. It was Sora and Miya's idea, though they really don't abide to it either."

_That would explain things,_ thought Yamato dryly. "It's fine."

"Anyway. It seems the White Rabbit works for the Queen of Hearts." He continued his erratic typing. "That and he spends horrendous amounts of time at the Mad Tea Party. He seems to have a thing for the Mad Hatter but is shy about it."

"The computer actually says that?" he asked incredulously.

"No. I'm just updating my online journal."

"I thought you said you were looking for him." he fumed

"I said that it might take awhile." Koushirou smiled wryly at the hot headed blond. "But first you have to know _who_ you are looking for don't you think?"

Yamato didn't think so, but didn't bother to argue since it wouldn't render anything fruitful and any urge to storm away was spent--in other words, his feet still throbbed in small echoes of dull incessant pain.

"Considering the fact that he spends all his free time with the Mad Hatter and company we can safely conclude that he most likely will be there." continued Koushirou as if he had never been interrupted at all.

"But you said he worked for the Queen of Diamonds."

"Hearts" corrected Koushirou looking up from his computer.

"A hart? Isn't that—"

"Hearts as in the trump card not a five year old stag." He spat, quite convinced that Yamato was being difficult.

"Whatever."

"You won't last long with that attitude."

"Fine. What if he went _there_."

"Highly doubtful." He said, quietly returning to his computer.

"He said he was late though"

"He always thinks he's late. The Mad March Hare tinkered with his watch."

"Hasn't he noticed?"

"He's always too busy worrying about tardiness to notice."

"Poor guy." Suddenly he felt sorry for the White Rabbit, though the feeling was short lived.

"Wait a minute. He wasn't wearing a dress either." He said indignantly. Abruptly remembering the rabbit had been wearing a blue suit and pants set that hugged him in all the right placed—much like the shirt and pants he had lost. He instantly became sulky again.

"—dresses."

"What?"

"Boys don't normally wear dresses." repeated Koushirou peering over his computer.

Yamato turned away propping his head on his hand gloomily.

"Well, I'll be off now." Said the caterpillar closing his laptop shut.

The blonde gaped at him. _Wasn't that my line? _he thought.

"It was nice meeting you." Koushirou jumped off his toadstool and offered his hand to Yamato. The latter being too flabbergast to be insulted took his hand and jumped off, regretting his actions the instant his feet touched the ground. He winced, nearly falling over.

"What's wrong Yamato?" asked the redhead truly concerned—for once, at least in Yamato's opinion.

"My feet are blistered."

"No wonder," mused the boy "Look at those shoes."

"I know" replied the blond flatly.

"What possessed you to wear them?"

"Like I said, I just appeared in them when I got here."

Koushirou eyed him skeptically but kept his snide remarks to himself. He had begun to feel pity for the boy, figuring the pain had begun causing him delusions.

"Here." He ripped a piece from the mushroom he had been sitting on.

"Here what." answered Yamato hotly.

"Eat it,"

"What if it's poisonous," he narrowed his eyes.

"It's a painkiller." The blond looked at him warily suddenly making Koushirou feel like a low life drug dealer. "Why would I want to kill you?" irritably placing the mushroom in Yamato's hand.

After thinking about it for five more seconds Yamato gave in, like everything else, since he had arrived to this kooky land given that death was starting to look more inviting than wandering alone, lost forever with blistered feet in two inch heels.

"What does it taste like?"

Koushirou shrugged, "It's sweet."

He looked at the mushroom one more time turning it in his hand before popping it in his mouth.

"Mm, tastes like honey."

"Well then Yamato, head eastward and you'll run into the Mad Tea Party." He said pointing in the direction Yamato had come from.

Yamato laughed. "I came from there," he whined.

The mushroom had quite obviously taken effect. Koushirou had begun to wonder if the blond was capable of smiling let alone laughing. He was unexpectedly surprised.

The caterpillar smiled warmly. "Just go that way," coaxed Koushirou, gently prodding him in the direction.

Normally, Yamato would have had a hissy fit over being pushed unnecessarily into the obviously wrong direction, especially since Sora and Miyako were in said direction. Not to mention that all the walking would have been for naught.

But instead, being giddy as he was, he smiled prettily and curtsied and said his thanks bidding adieu to the caterpillar.

Koushirou stared dreamily at Yamato who skipped happily eastward, considering whether or not to pursue the boy.

"He's quite amicable when he's hopped up on mushrooms." He mused aloud.

"Don't even think about it."

The boy jumped. "Cat, will you stop scaring me like that?"

"It's_ Cheshire_ cat dammit, Caterpillar."

"Koushirou," corrected the younger boy.

"Whatever."

"Ta— " the Cheshire cat clasped his hand over the boy's mouth.

"Look," the boy glared at the cat after being released. "I don't see why I can't go after him. He'd make a great study."

He paused.

"Anyway, he is quite pretty when he isn't being sour."

"I saw him first." the Cheshire cat declared possessively.

"Where?"

"When Sora and Miya where playing with him."

"Did not."

"Did too, and he's mine so paws off."

The red-head glared at the boy "You keep him. I'd have to have him drugged to stand him more than a day."

"That's harsh."

"Have you met him?"

"Not exactly, but I have been stalk—watching over him for awhile. Guess you really can't blame the guy. He's wearing a dress after all."

"I guess." He said softly. "Well, I'll be off. I'll see you around."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to become a happy butterfly and ride on the glittering wind."

"The what?"

"I'm a caterpillar..." He waited for the cat to understand but soon gave up.

"Never mind. It's something I read online."

"Figures."

"You'd better go after him before he gets lost or stolen from you."

And before Koushirou could utter 'goodbye' the Cheshire cat was no where to be found.

"He's as dense as the hatter." He muttered going off to do whatever caterpillars did to begin with.

Yamato on the other hand was happily tra-la-laying his way eastward in search of a Mad Tea Party.

To be continued...

----------------------

Kaitoumiko: Oops, don't own "Butterfly" by Kouji Wada. I couldn't help myself. I know it's a bad pun but...really....err...Ken made me write it.

Ken: Don't blame me for your short comings.

Daisuke: -glomps Ken- Did ya miss me?

Ken: Dai-chan! But—how did you—

Daisuke: I traded inside information.

Ken: What do you mean 'inside information'?

Daisuke: I told her that her outfit was Yamato's doing.

Ken: This can get ugly.

Miyako: This will get ugly, and will you stop typing, people will get the distinction between "the caterpillar" and "Caterpillar" stop changing it too all caps or all lower cases.

Daisuke: Review please.


	5. Of stalkers and tea fights

Kaitoumiko: Thank you again for reviewing my story and reading it too of course! I seriously never dreamed I'd ever reach double digits! –radiating enough to rival the sun-

Ken: Starting to get sappy again...

Kaitoumiko: Okay, okay... Sorry for the short delay...can a day even be considered a delay? But I had to go to work and didn't have time to type the chapter and edit it.

Ken: Not really...and I'm sure no one cares that you had to go to work, no excuses! You should have gotten up earlier.

Daisuke: Kaitoumiko does not own Digimon or Alice in Wonderland. Though she wishes she did. Especially the prior.

Kaitoumiko: -pout- Ken don't be mean. I want my Yama back!

Ken: I would have dragged him here but the bastards propped a chair beneath the doorknob.

Daisuke: This chapter contains a one-sided Taito seeing as Yamato has no clue Taichi exists and hints of Daiken, Takori (as in Iori not Hikari) and you may even see Daikeru/Takedai if you read into it too much, which you are free to do as long as Ken-chan doesn't find out. Enjoy.

---------------------------------

Yamato in Wonderland

Of stalkers and tea fights

"Why would I go to a place in which people are furious?" he muttered to himself. "Furious tea party...who ever heard of that..." He unfortunately never paid much attention to his English class and thus completely missed its actual meaning—at least for the moment being. But the painkiller was wearing off, which was a bad thing, but on the plus side of things the bookworm of a caterpillar was no longer ignoring him. He took a moment to wonder if Koushirou even liked reading actual books, but quickly dismissed the idea.

"What's with the extremes anyway," he grumbled, remembering the clingy girls. So focused was he on trivial matters as these, that he did not notice he had arrived at the hatter's house until he ran into a pole. It would have helped if he had stopped glaring at the ground, since for the last twenty minutes or so he had begun to focus his hatred for the world on the ground he walked on.

He looked up accusingly at the offending sign trying to clear his vision, having hit the pole rather hard.

"The Mad Tea Party." Yamato rubbed the growing bump on his head tenderly.

"How charming." He had thought Koushirou was being descriptive, not telling him the name of the stupid place. Though he found comfort in the fact that is was the name of the place rather than a description of the people themselves—at least he hoped.

"Ken-chan, stay longer," whined the first voice.

"I'm late." The presumed Ken exclaimed.

That sounded familiar....but Ken-chan? Yamato's eyes widened. The White Rabbit! He'd finally found him. The people didn't sound mad either—rather—whiny.

"Takeru this is your fault, tell him you programmed his watch five hours ahead." There went the first voice again.

"I did no such thing." The third voice said quietly most likely belonging to Takeru.

Yamato's curiosity piqued getting the better of him once again. He carefully crept closer into the garden where the commotion was emanating from.

There was a long heavy rectangular wooden table placed in the middle of a blooming garden of brightly colored flowers. There were assorted tea cups, plates and teapots in assorted colors, sizes and styles, in what looked like a compilation of odds and ends thrown carelessly together.

Along the table were mismatched chairs varying in color, size and style, much reminding the blond of the dishware set on the table. _At least they were consistent. _He thought dryly.

At the far left end, in an enormously rather royal looking red chair sat a brown bunny, quietly sipping tea. To the far right, a tiny boy mouse sat on the table soundlessly also sipping his tea, watching the commotion with disinterest.

The hatter—for he was the only one wearing a hat—a ridiculously big one at that, turned out to be the owner of the first voice. At least, Yamato could guess that, that was his name since every one else had been either labeled or it had been obvious what they were, at any rate he liked to think so.

Yamato marveled a bit at the fashion density of the lot he had met and were in front of him. He had thought that the ones before were laughable but the hatter had to take the cake with the way his clover green coat, larger than life matching hat, the ridiculous huge red polka dot bowtie and black slacks made him look like he had just come out of a circus act. Not that what he was doing at the moment didn't look like a circus act to being with...

The other three boys looked as if they had just come out of the Victorian era, the only difference being the color of their suits.

"I don't believe you Daisuke."

"But I saw him do it the day—" he caught himself

"Yes, tell us Daisuke, the day you what," teased the brown rabbit.

"What did you do Daisuke?" asked Ken with sudden interest.

"I- I didn't do anything to you I swear."

Yamato shifted his weight; his legs were starting to cramp from squatting behind the bush he was hiding behind. But, it seemed rather rude to barge in at such a critical moment, he figured. Completely ignoring the fact that eavesdropping was quite a bit worse.

"He just drugged you," said the mouse quietly taking another sip.

"You what?"

"Iori! You're not helping." whined Daisuke.

By now the white rabbit was looking rather flustered.

"I wasn't going to do anything indecent, I swear."

Ken blushed a deep crimson.

"Honest Ken, I was just going to surprise you by taking you far away, but these twats didn't let me."

"I resent that." stated Takeru.

He does like the Hatter, the blond thought dreamily, Koushirou was right after all.

"I don't believe that was the sequence of the drugged tea mishap, was it Take-chan?" Iori rebuked

"Don't believe it was, my dear Iori-chan." Takeru answered, swirling his tea.

Daisuke glowered at the boys before turning back to Ken. "Ken I—"

"I'm late!" Ken exclaimed, suddenly having looked at the time. He bolted out of the gates nearly tripping on Yamato—again—on his way out.

"Ken, wait!" and the blond was sure that the hatter would have chased after the boy had he not tripped over him.

"Oww."

"That's my line." Yamato said wryly, picking himself up and dusting his dress off. Though he had no reason to be sour over being trampled on, since he had no reason for squatting by the gate's entrance to begin with. In his conquest to find the owner's of the voice's he had overheard he overlooked that he was by the gate to begin with.

"Since when do boys wear dresses?" The perplexed look on the hatter's face would have been considered cute by Yamato had he not been annoyed by the comment.

"Shut up."

"So why are you here?" asked Daisuke.

"I was looking for the white rabbi—"

"You what." Daisuke was quite tired of this line. Always, always, have you seen the white rabbit? I was looking for the white rabbit...why couldn't they just leave his Ken alone.

Yamato was sent into a panic, the cause though unknown, was somewhere between Daisuke's tone and the extremely deranged look on his face.

"I think he hit a chord, Iori-chan."

"I think you're right Take-chan."

And it was then and only then, quite to Yamato's misfortune that it dawned on him. The hatter was quite smitten with the rabbit as well.

"I ju—just wanted to know where he was going." The blond cringed holding his hand up defensively. After all this lot was "mad".

"Well, he was coming to see me." The hatter said hotly.

"That's what Koushirou told me."

"You met the caterpillar?" the boy's face brightened.

"Y-yes." He slowly let his guard down.

"So—what's your name?"

"Yamato."

Thankfully, Daisuke was not one to hold grudges.

I'm the Mad Hatter, but you can call me Daisuke." He narrowed his brown eyes. "You just leave my Ken-chan alone."

Perhaps the exception to the rule is where Ken is involved.

_Possessive, aren't we?_ Yamato smirked mentally. _How cute._

"That over there is the Mad March hare." He said pointing at the boy with brown bunny ears and matching suit.

"Takeru." corrected the boy hardly acknowledging Yamato.

"And that over there is Dormouse," he continued, pointing at the boy with gray mouse ears and matching suit.

"Iori," he corrected. "It would be nice if you introduced us by name, Daisuke."

"It's more fun this way." grinned Daisuke.

Yamato definitely thought they were a few crayons short of a crayon box.

"Want to have tea?" offered Daisuke.

"No, thank you. I guess I'll be going now, since I know where the White Rabbit wa—"

"Ken," corrected Daisuke.

"Ken went—"

"Sit."

Not one to complain, he agreed half-thankful he was able to get off his feet. Though Daisuke's terse tone certainly made it easier for him to comply.

The blond looked at all the chairs favoring the silky blue one and was about to sit down when—

"Wait." He turned toward Daisuke. "Not there, over here." He pulled out the green checkered chair next to Takeru.

"That's Iori's seat." He explained.

Yamato raised an eyebrow but chose not to comment as he had become accustomed to odd eccentric people.

Straightening himself out he bowed slightly to Daisuke plopping down in the less comfortable looking green checkered chair.

"So where do you come from?" he asked, plopping down in Iori's seat.

"Odaiba"

"Odaiba—" Daisuke scratched his head causing his hat to fall into his eyes.

"Where is Odaiba?" inquired Takeru, more to his tea cup than the blonde who was next to him.

Yamato was about to say Japan but was hit with a brilliant idea. "Beyond the door."

All three boys turned their full attention to him.

"You mean Jun?" choked Iori, sitting down in the purple velvet chair across from Yamato. People really shouldn't drink tea while walking. It can prove rather lethal.

"Yup," he said flippantly, for the first time having the upper hand.

"How did you—" the Mad March hare started.

"Following the White Rabbit under the bridge."

"I didn't know Ken-chan could cross over." Dormouse said softly, green eyes as wide as the saucers on the table.

"He can't," said Daisuke, "and only I get to call him Ken-chan."

"Someone's jealous," said Takeru wickedly and though he kept a straight face, his eyes twinkled with mischief.

"What's that supposed to mean," spat Daisuke.

"Oh, nothing," the Mad March hare said innocently.

Daisuke threw a teacup at the hare who dodged it easily.

"Would you like some tea?" offered Iori.

The cross dressing blonde blinked at him.

"Sorry we forgot our manners," apologized Iori. "But we really don't get too many visitors."

_I can see why._ Yamato thought dryly.

"Stop!" yelped Takeru in the background. "These are my new gloves!"

"So?" Daisuke was smiling manically, menacing the boy with a teapot.

"They're white!" he shrieked, unsure whether to shield his face or his gloves.

"It's just a little tea Take-chan."

"Noooooooooo—"

Yamato turned back to Iori. "Sure, why not."

Iori poured him tea and he would have taken a sip had a tea stained gloved hand not taken it from him. "You bastard!" The irate hare screamed hurling said tea-cup at the laughing hatter, consequently hitting his target's head.

"Justice served," said Takeru smugly sitting back down in his chair.

"Jerk! You fucking ruined my hat!" growled Daisuke.

Takeru shrugged nonchalantly.

"You're dead rabbit" was the last thing the Mad March hare heard before Daisuke pounced on him, sending them both flying backwards with the chair. Luckily, Takeru always liked sitting in the big plush chair. Perhaps, with good reason.

Iori handed a bewildered Yamato another cup of tea. "Don't mind them."

Yamato took the cup absently, staring as the two boys pummeled each other.

"I take it this is quite normal."

The mouse nodded.

They usually aren't happy until their clothes are full of mud and tea."

"I see," the blond said slowly.

"So you chased Ken through Jun?" the green eyed boy asked pointedly.

"Yeah," responded a cautious Yamato, glancing at the muddy mess of a hatter and March hare.

"Why?"

"I don't know," he said honestly. "I didn't realize I had come after him until it was too late."

_Trust Ken to have that effect on people, _thought Iori.

"And the door?" prodded Iori.

"What about—" he said, distractedly gawking at the climax of the scuffle.

"How is she?"

"Okay I guess," he turned his attention back to Iori. "A bit frightening though."

Iori nodded knowingly.

"It's been awhile since we've seen her." he explained.

"Does she usually go around taking prisoners?"

"She has a tendency to get lonely."

Yamato made an attempt to take a sip of his tea but Takeru and Daisuke had decided to continue their skirmish on the table top knocking the cup from the blonde's hand.

"How did you wind up here?" shouted Iori over the growls and petty insults. "You obviously didn't chase Ken here."

"What did you say about Ken?" glared Daisuke, loosening his hold on the hare he was currently straddling.

"That he's not crazy enough to like you." snarled Takeru, flipping Daisuke on his back.

"I ended up wandering into the forest because these boots were killing me," Yamato lamented. "When I woke up, Sora and Miyako were poking fun at me."

"So you met those two."

Yamato shivered.

"They're not that bad once you get to know them." He poured the blond a third cup of tea while avoiding the saucers that were skillful being hurled back and forth. It was apparent to Yamato that this happened much more often than he had thought.

"Did they tell you about Koushirou?"

"Nuuh," he mumbled swallowing, finally having been able to take a sip. "I found him after I ran away from them."

Iori laughed. "I'm surprised they didn't follow you."

Yamato nearly spat his tea out in horror. "Followed?!" he choked.

"Something must have kept them." murmured Iori, ignoring the outburst.

"What do you mean followed." demanded Yamato, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.

"They like telling stories," shrugged Iori, "and will follow you around until you have heard them all."

"He got away with one story?" asked Daisuke incredulously.

The two boys turned to see Daisuke had once again gained dominance in the quarrel whose main purpose had already been forgotten. Yamato gave the Mad March hare a sympathetic look seeing as Daisuke was pulling the poor hare's ears.

Iori didn't look pleased, Yamato nodded his head.

"Oi, Takeru you hear that?" he let go of his ears and would have looked remorseful if he had not laughed at Takeru's state.

"How many times have I told you 'no ear pulling'." he caressed his throbbing ears tenderly. "I don't pull yours."

"I don't have bunny ears," Daisuke retorted and was about to launch himself at Takeru when Iori tossed his tea cup at his head.

"You leave my Take-chan alone," he warned.

"But he started it."

"And I ended it." said Iori flatly. "Anyway, we have a guest," gesturing toward Yamato.

Daisuke sulked.

"I um... Do you know how to go through the door again?"

The boys blinked at him. Stifled their giggles. But ended curled up in little balls of hysterical laughter.

Yamato glared angrily at them.

"I don't see what's funny."

Which in turn, made them laugh even harder.

"Look, I sat here, drank tea, answered your questions, now answer my damn question!" he shouted exasperatedly.

But it was no use, so he did the only thing he could think of.

He stood up angrily and stormed out of the garden taking to the left, leaving the howling trio behind him.

Yamato didn't like the overbearing girl's he had met before, but having people ignore him was quite a bit worse in his book.

"Shame on you three," tisked Taichi climbing out of a nearby tree. He stared at them for a few minutes until their laughter had subsided enough to feign guilty expressions. Takeru made a show out of drooping his ears and giving Taichi the saddest doe eyes he could muster.

Taichi rolled his eyes.

"So _you're_ the reason Miya and Sora lay off?" Iori smirked.

Taichi blushed crimson. "You can't prove that."

"I don't know," said Takeru contemplating his ruined gloves. "The kitten dost protest too much."

"Don't quote things if you're going to butcher them." shot the Cheshire cat.

"Touch-y." Daisuke poured him a cup of tea handing it to him. "How long have you been stalking him?"

"I'm not stalking him—" he paused taking a sip of tea. "I'm just making sure he makes it out ok."

"You mean no one takes him away from you?" Takeru raised an eyebrow.

"Look, I don't have to take this." Taichi threw the cup down with a crash.

"That's right he might get away if he doesn't leave now," teased Daisuke.

"Shut up!" Taichi shouted back. "I saw him first anyway." And with that, he stormed off after the blond.

This sent them reeling with laughter all over again, and took them a bit longer to recover than before. But they did, eventually, with pained gasps for air since their faces were burning and it had become hard to breathe. They lay and in Daisuke's case sat recovering on the table staring up at the bright blue sky. Just another slovenly normal day.

"Maybe we should follow them." Takeru said sitting up suddenly, taking his gloves off and replacing them with new ones.

"I don't know." Iori shifted nervously. "Taichi can be rather—"

"Let's go!" Daisuke proclaimed jumping up from where he was sitting. "Maybe we can catch up to Ken."

"I thought we were chasing stalker and stalkee." Iori pointed out, propping himself up with his elbows.

"We are." Daisuke grinned mischievously. "I saw Taichi run toward Ken's house."

Iori sighed. It was pointless to argue with Daisuke.

"Oi, where's Takeru?" looking around to find the hare nowhere in sight.

"He's changing." informed Iori, hopping off the table. "If you even bothered to pay attention to someone besides yourself you'd know."

Daisuke frowned. "I pay attention to Ken-chan!"

"That doesn't count." Iori countered. "You should go get changed too... you're filthy."

To be continued.....

--------------------------------

Kaitoumiko: I imagine that Takeru has a change of clothing at Daisuke's house since they seem to fight a lot...

Ken: Is this your sad pathetic attempt to fill plot holes?

Kaitoumiko: I found it unnecessary to say that before...I mean... does it matter?

Ken: That's your take on ALL of your plot holes. And you don't even own that butchered Shakespeare quote...you forgot to disclaim it. How typical.

Kaitoumiko: It snuck up on me! -cries- Dai-chan! Ken is being mean to me!

Daisuke: Please review. It makes her happy and she momentarily forgets that even if she were to combine all her muses, they still wouldn't make a complete one.


	6. Of seduction and scenarios

Kaitoumiko: I'm back again. Thank you for all of your reviews! I enjoy reading your comments no matter how trivial you find them! It's encouraging to know that my writing is improving, every little counts right? –sparkle-

Taichi: Where's all the glitter?--err...you're sparkly? When did you get sparkly?!

Kaitoumiko: I was tired....but then I read my reviews. -twinkle- What are you doing here, anyway?!

Yamato: Takeru nearly tore the door down...

Taichi: Wasn't this supposed to be a Taito! It's chapter 6 and still nothing! I had to fix that.

Yamato: ...my _darling_ little brother also happened to mention that Daisuke and Ken seemed to be getting more action that either one of us...

Kaitoumiko: They did kinda steal the spotlight last chapter...though I think it was more Takeru and Dai-chan...

Yamato: Kaitoumiko fortunately does not own Digimon or Alice in Wonderland, let's keep it that way.

Taichi: This chapter will definitely contain a limeish Taito scene. Bits of Daiken and Takori maybe...but most importantly TAITO! Yes! Finally! What you have all been waiting for! Too bad we have to keep it R ...we are so NC-17 aren't we Yama?

Yamato: -ignore- Doubt she can do it—if she does, I'll help her with her next project and be nice about it.

----------------------------------

Yamato in Wonderland

Of seduction and scenarios

_Damn._ The blonde thought. He was lost. "Well, when wasn't I lost?" he muttered bitterly.

He didn't know whether or not his situation had improved—although the terrible nagging feeling he had, told him it hadn't. Being alone lost was bad enough, but was it so horrid to be lost in the company of nut cases? Though he wouldn't dare to admit it to anyone, he was starting to feel the latter was the greater of two evils. Not that any were really evil to begin with, with the possible exception of Miya and Sora the queens of blackmail, but he didn't know about that just yet.

Walking alone was just so—lonely.

He had started feeling vaguely sorry for himself—as his temper had finally calmed and noticed that it would be dark soon. He sighed petulantly and in his daze, almost tripped on the huge log that was blocking his desired path. He made an attempt to climb over it but failed, cursing the dress that got in his way and the boots that didn't allow his legs to bend properly. In all reality, his poor tired legs simply refused to lift that high.

He soon gave in and walked to the left. _Not that it makes much difference, _he thought sourly. He was condemning the fool who placed the log there—since he had gotten in the habit of cursing people, for his short comings—when he at long last arrived at the outskirts of the confounded forest.

"Finally," although this time there was no hope in his tone just finality. He let his eyes adjust a bit to the sudden brightness, perusing over his new environment.

The forest opened up into a clearing and much to the blonde's relief there was no forest beyond it. Wild flowers bloomed all around in brilliant colors and in the center of it all was a quaint little cottage.

A nice change after being confined for hours in the labyrinth like forest. Let it be noted that the distance between this and the hatter's house is a mere ten minute walking distance. This sadly took Yamato two hours, since he kept looping to the right without noticing, too upset to perceive the slight divergence toward the exit in the ambiguity of the forest. He would have continued, perhaps for eternity had it not been for Taichi feeling sorry, and in all reality losing amusement in chasing Yamato in a never ending loop.

Now, having met the lot before, he was—with good reason—reluctant to approach the house. These people could be the strangest of them all, after all.

Yamato took a deep breath, figuring it wouldn't do much good to stay in the forest edge forever. _I have to move sometime_, he thought with resolve, and cautiously wobbled his way toward the cottage. He had quit walking and had been wobbling for a good hour by now. But his feet had gone numb at some point and he was thankful for that.

"I doubt they can all be that bad," he mused aloud.

He looked up at the name plaque above the door. "Ichijouji residence"

The blonde stepped up on the stoop promptly knocking on the door.

No answer.

He was about to knock again when he heard someone come up behind him. "I doubt he's home."

Yamato whirled around coming face to face with a grinning Cheshire cat. The cat's long tail bobbed to and fro behind him as he waltzed closer and closer to the dazed frozen blonde.

"B-bu-" Yamato could almost swear that the boy before him had a predatory look about him.

Taichi stepped up onto the porch, coming to a halt an arms length away from the boy, giving him a once over.

Yamato frowned. "If you fucking ask me 'Since when do fucking guys wear dresses' I'll fucking clobber you."

Taichi smiled slyly, swiftly and skillfully pinning the other boy to the door, holding the startled boy's arms above his head with his hand. "Since when do boys wear dresses?" he purred into Yamato's ear, sending pleasant shivers down the blonde's spine.

A bemused Yamato stared at the brunette in utter incomprehension. He knew he should be mad. He was pinned down and being insulted—true—by the sexiest boy he had ever had the pleasure of running into, but pinned and insulted nonetheless. He just couldn't quite bring himself out of the sweet hazy fog that—

"I didn't say 'fucking' you can't clobber me Yama-chan," teased Taichi, nibbling on the blonde's ear.

That seemed to do it. And with that, he broke out of his quiet reverie. Did he have whore written on his face? The fact that he enjoyed it far more than he wanted to admit annoyed him even more.

"Jerk, who do you think you are!" he tried kicking the Cheshire cat but to no avail given that he was imbalanced and not only leaning back against the door, but had the cat's weight on him as well.

Taichi smiled, leaning into him, until all that was in focus were Yamato's angry crystalline azure eyes.

"I'm Taichi," he stated confidently and Yamato couldn't help but notice that although brash, he was quite handsome. _That thought again._ Yamato shook his head in an attempt to clear it. Maybe it was the dress talking. _Yes, it had to be the dress, _he reasoned, although the fluttering in his heart not only contradicted him but if anything, intensified.

"Let me go cat-boy" he said lamely, his struggles half-hearted.

"Cheshire cat," corrected Taichi, pulling back slightly. "But I prefer you call me Taichi." A blush crept into Yamato's porcelain features.

This would have been a perfect moment for Taichi to dazzle Yamato with his suave, charming nature, but the Cheshire cat also had a habit of doing things at inappropriate times.

So being the grand pervert that he was, Taichi decided to see what Yamato was wearing beneath the dress and used his tail to work it up. It might have even worked had he not craned his head to catch a better glimpse. But the petticoats got in the way and didn't allow him to peek at anything more than Yamato's creamy thighs. By then, the blonde had recovered over the initial shock and had started yelling at him.

"What are you doing, you fucking pervert."

"Now, now watch your language Yama-chan," he pouted, reluctantly removing his tail from underneath the boy's dress much to the blonde's relief.

He turned his attention back to Yamato who was currently quite a few shades of red, and consequently glaring at him.

Taichi stared at the boy, nodded to himself and let go of one of Yamato's arms. The blonde, in turn, let his arm drop limply at his side and with it went his displeasure. He found himself unconciously parting and moistening his lips, as he attempted to calm his rapidly beating heart.

Though the act of letting the boy go would usually be considered a nicety on Taichi's behalf, leading one to believe he is thinking of "if you let it go and it comes back, it was yours to begin with." Then that person knows nothing of Taichi. He was actually thinking quite the opposite. That he'd have to stalk him and make him realize they were meant to be together.

Is it lust? Some would call it love at first sight.

At any rate, Yamato didn't fight back, he just stood there placidly looking up at Taichi, if anything somewhat expectantly.

_Now I feel like a cheap slut in gothic Lolita cosplay,_ he thought to himself. _Maybe it was that damn mushroom, shoulda learned from that damn chocolate._ He noticed Taichi was staring at him in a way that screamed 'I want to devour you'.

_I'm delirious! All that walking, the strange things I ate, why else would I find him so attractive and think he is looking at me that way._

Then it hit him.

"How do you know my name?"

Taichi smiled awkwardly, _Damn, and here I thought I'd finally smooch him._

"Well..." demanded a now scowling Yamato.

"I—er, you see," stumbled Taichi considering his choices.

_Hmm—well, he came through Jun, so it wouldn't be a good idea, just in case he went back to where he came from, which won't happen if I can help it_, he thought. Anyway, none of them had ever been able to meet Jun more than once. _So Jun isn't something I should worry about to begin with,_ concluded Taichi. _That leaves the dynamic duo, the caterpillar and the troublesome trio..._

---------------

Scenario 1:

Taichi: Miyako and Sora were about to go after you when I happened to be going that way. I caught them and started to shadow you to make sure that you were safe.

_Half-truths are always important for good lies,_ Taichi thought congratulating himself.

Yamato: Why didn't you tell me?

Taichi: I didn't want you to be afraid.

Yamato: I love you Taichi! Make love to me!

----------------

Taichi looked at the ground. _No, that wouldn't work; if those two came across him they'd tell him the story of the stalking Cheshire cat. _And with it would go any chance he had with the boy before him.

"I'm still waiting." Yamato snapped edgily.

"Ah—oh—er, like I was saying," stammered Taichi going silent once again...

---------------

Scenario 2:

Taichi: I was going to visit Koushirou, when I found him drooling over you so I ran in and stopped him!

Taichi grinned to himself. _Now that was a whole truth._

Yamato: Thank you, Taichi-sama! You rescued me from that perv caterpillar!

Taichi: I can't stand to see beautiful things like you suffer.

Yamato: I love you Taichi-sama! Take me! Now!

--------------

Taichi smiled to himself dreamily.

"What are you smiling at?" and though Yamato could have easily escaped now considering one of his hands was free and that Taichi was distracted, he couldn't quite bring himself to do it, chalking it up to curiosity.

_That wouldn't work either._ He bit his lip straightening and releasing Yamato.

The blonde frowned, rubbing the circulation back to his hand. "I haven't got all day." He said impatiently, crossing his arms.

Taichi placed a hand on his hip and ran the other through his hair. He apparently couldn't hear the boy in front of him, though who would, when faced with such a dilemma. Although, lying never really helped anyone either.

-------------

Scenario 3:

Taichi: The mad trio were plotting to—

-------------

"You know," interjected Yamato, poking the brunette on the nose. "I'm not going to believe you."

Taichi blinked at him.

"It doesn't take _this_ long to tell the truth, and it usually doesn't begin with 'um, er, I, well'."

Taichi was stumped. He hadn't realized he had taken so long in his panic. Scenario 2 was the best out of 2 ½ but Koushirou could—everyone would tell Yamato that he had been stalking him. They were all so mean to him.

He sighed dejectedly; there really was no way out of this. "I mumble, mumble."

"What?" he arched his eyebrow. For the second time upon arrival, he had the upper hand and reveled in it.

Taichi took a deep breath averting his gaze, "Iwasstalkingyou," he raised his hands defensively. "But only to protect you from the strange lot that run amok and that I find you incredibly attractive."

Yamato stared at him in disbelief.

The Cheshire cat shifted nervously under the boy's scrutiny.

"I helped you out of the forest," he added in his defense.

"How?" he asked dubiously.

"I blocked the path so that you would stop going around in circles." Taichi mentally kicked himself. Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned the circles part.

"You mean you let me walk around in circles?" fumed the blonde.

"Well—uh you see—I think you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen?" he squeaked, in a pathetic attempt to switch subjects.

"Y-you find me beautiful?" his eyebrows furrowed. "Are you making fun of me?"

"Never," he said breathily, inching closer to Yamato.

Yamato blushed. "How long have you been stalking me?" he asked averting his gaze, his breath as erratic as his heart beat.

"Before Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum interrupted me," Taichi said peevishly. If they had not interrupted him, he could have had his way with Yamato a long time ago. Of course, it hadn't occurred to him to stop Yamato before he met everyone else.

"Wait a minute, you mean to tell me—" Yamato looked straight into the boys soft chocolatey eyes and all coherent thought melted away.

Taichi grinned. It seemed as though half the battle was already won. He reached over and cupped the blonde's face pulling him into a sweet tender kiss.

Within minutes, sweet tender butterfly kisses turned into wet fervent ones as Taichi blissfully gained entrance into Yamato's mouth. The blonde unconciously wrapped his arms around the cat pulling him into an even deeper kiss that—

"Taichi?" the boys broke apart breathlessly to find a confused white rabbit, staring up at them.

"What are you doing on my porch?"

"Yamato was looking for you, so I thought I'd help him find you."

"In his mouth?"

The blonde smiled sheepishly.

"You see we were just—" Taichi looked around searching for a legitimate reason for engaging in an impromptu make out session with the blond god beside him. In Miya's words, 'Bingo'. "Isn't that the Mad Hatter?" he asked pointing to his left.

"Don't go and change the subject Tai—"Ken's eyes panned right and widened in horror.

Daisuke and cohort were in a mad dash (no pun intended) in their direction.

"Oi! Taichi! You better not have laid one paw on my Ken-chan!"

Ken's face turned red, and took off.

"Wait! Oi! Ken!" he shouted, redirecting his path to chase after Ken.

"I thought he liked Daisuke." murmured Yamato, watching the comical chase in mild amusement.

"He does," answered Taichi. Whatever Yamato was going to say next was lost as Taichi smothered him in another searing kiss.

To be continued...

---------------------------

Miyako: I'm ending it there.

Taichi: What! It's still a PG rating! What are you talking about? This is false advertisement! -pout-

Kaitoumiko: Miya! We promised! -pout- Ah! I'm sorry I was late!! I had to catch up on homework, which I still haven't finished but please forgive me! It was so hard to edit it when all Taichi could think of was XXX and XXX.

Taichi: Who cares! This was supposed to be rated R! -sulks in the background-

Yamato: Ha! She couldn't do it. I don't get to help her.

Miyako: She _will _do it and will you stop editing! I'm sorry for the disappointment...but I had to start my revenge scheme sometime.

Yamato: And how is this bad for me?

Miyako: -evil cackle- Please review! Those who review will get to pick the type and color of Yamato's underwear! I'll give you till Friday at midnight!

Yamato: You can't do this!

Kaitoumiko: She already did.


	7. Of intermission and romantic interludes

Kaitoumiko: I apologize for the lateness of the post..can it be called post?

Miyako: Get on with it, stop getting hung up on technicalities.

Sora: What she means to say is that she is having problems with the "R" part of the fic, she has the rest of _that_ chapter written out.

Miyako: She'll probably put it out Wednesday after work. She gets out early.

Kaitoumiko: Thank you Messiahfigure for prompting me to write an intermission after I cried on your shoulder over my—predicament. Thank you. –bows-

Sora: Ooh! I get to do the disclaimer! She doesn't own Digimon or Alice in Wonderland.

Miyako: Enjoy.

-------------------------------

Yamato in Wonderland

Of intermission and romantic interludes

"So do you think—"

"Maybe."

The two girls grinned at each other and crept closer. They had been stalking the two boys since Taichi had stormed off after Yamato. After all, how else were they to know all the happenings in wonderland? They had however, kept their presence unknown until Yamato was stuck in a loop and helped Taichi move the log in time, so that Yamato would not catch him.

"I can't believe Taichi took all the credit for that log," griped Sora.

Miyako rolled her eyes. "Seriously, as if he'd be able to move that huge heavy thing by himself."

"You think he believed that we just happened to be on our way to the palace?"

Miyako frowned. "Depends on what he is doing with Blondie," she smiled wickedly, gesturing toward the house.

The brunette grinned. "He'd be stupid to do anything, knowing us."

Miyako's smile widened as she hopped up on the stoop. "But this _is_ Mr. Acts-before-he-thinks we're talking about" she whispered, leaning her ear against the door."

"Anything?" whispered Sora, propping her head on the other girl's shoulder.

Miyako shook her head. "Let's climb the trellis. They are prolly upstairs."

"Roger that." she saluted jumping down from the porch.

The girls went around to the left of the house where the guest rooms were located. They smiled at each other before they climbed the trellis with an agility and quiet seamlessness that could only be explained with practice.

Miyako peeked into her window and frowned. "Nothing here." She said disappointedly, looking over to Sora.

The brunette sighed. "No luck over here either."

"You don't think they would do it in Ken's room do you?" she asked excitedly.

Sora's eyes twinkled in mischief. "They wouldn't dare!" she laughed. "Ken's gonna kill both of them, and possibly skin Taichi!"

They climbed down rapidly and rounded the corner to the back of the house and after engaging in a quick game of rock-paper-scissors to decide who would climb the trellis, Miyako made her way to the masterbed's window.

"See anything?"

Miyako huffed. "No." She climbed down dissatisfied. "That would have made a good story."

She slumped on the floor and was soon joined by Sora. They sat there awhile contemplating the butterflies dancing over the rainbow of flowers, wondering where the two boys had gone. They had almost been sure that they would have gone upstairs_. It sure seemed that way, the way they were sucking each other's faces off._ Miyako thought bitterly.

It goes without saying that both were immensely disappointed. They're instincts were _never_ wrong.

"Maybe they're eating." suggested Sora. "Neither has eaten all day, and the sun is starting to set."

Well, with the exception of Daisuke and Ken but that was Takeru and Iori's fault. _They just don't want to lose the bet_, she thought sourly, adjusting her glasses.

"Wha? Oh, yeah we should check." She said looking up at the small window above their heads.

Sora got up and held her hand out to help Miyako up. "Thinking of the bet?"

"How'd you know?"

Sora giggled. "The look on your face kind of gave it away Miya."

They peeked into the kitchen window and found it empty. "There goes that idea, guess that leaves the dining room and the living room."

"Maybe we should have bet whether or not these two would sleep with each other the moment they met." said the brunette walking around the bend.

Miyako sighed. "We should have" she said following Sora. "At least Takeru and Iori would not have been able to stop them. I think these two have more resolve. I don't think Dai-chan has even _hugged_ Ken, let alone kissed him."

"Nope. Not in the dinning room." stated the brunette ruefully. "But Dai and Ken-chan have a cute 'I love you but I'm too scared to tell you' thing going for them."

Miyako leaned against the house. "Frustrating if you ask me."

Sora laughed, making her way to the next window.

"I mean, Ken likes Dai-chan, Dai-chan likes Ken," grumbled Miyako pushing off the wall. "There should be no angst." she walked toward her partner in crime, too busy ranting to notice that Sora was intently staring at—or rather through—the window.

"Seriously what do—wow."

They stood staring into the window in perverted amusement—though they would later claim from shock—and would have continued to do so if a voice had not made them jump out of their trance.

"What are you doing?"

They turned around blushing sheepishly. "Nothing." they chorused.

The caterpillar was not amused. "Are you spying on Ken and Daisuke again?" he more stated than asked, walking toward the two girls.

"Wait, don't come any closer!" exclaimed Sora, waving her hands frantically.

The caterpillar scoffed, he was quite tired of having them tell him the story of the day. Especially when _he_ happened to be the story of the day.

The girls cringed as he walked up to the window. But he was so busy looking over his shoulder to scold them that he did not see the intimate interaction occurring between the current inhabitants of the living room.

Koushirou rolled his eyes, "As if I were really interested in their little melodrama." He huffed, bringing his hand up to rap on the window. "I'm only going to warn—" and stopped, because he had turned to glance inside the living room.

He blinked, but the scene before his remained the same. He wasn't imagining things, at least. He turned sharply on his heels staring at the two shamefaced girls. He wondered vaguely if he could ever look at either boy in the face again. "I'm scarred for life." he squeaked. And with that, a red faced Caterpillar marched his way hurriedly to the castle.

The girls turned their attention back to the two boys. "Their rather lovely aren't they?" commented Sora.

Miyako nodded. "They make a cute couple."

"Prolly have a lot of make up sex." Sora added thoughtfully.

"With Yamato, definetely."

Poor Yamato had such a bad reputation. Perhaps under different circumstances, he wouldn't have been the moody whiny person he had come to be known for.

Sora sighed. "This is getting repetitive; wanna go follow Kou-chan?"

Miyako smirked. "Hell, yeah! Maybe he'll finally realize he has a thing for Jyou."

The brunette laughed. "Now those two are _nothing_ compared to Dai-chan and Ken." she said. "At least Dai and Ken _know_ that they like each other.

"No kidding," Miyako said rolling her eyes. "We'll be old and grey before they do anything about it."

"I wonder if Jyou even knows."

"According to Mimi-chan," the girl adjusted her glasses in a dramatic pause. "No he doesn't"

They stared at the horizon pensively. "If we hurry we might make it before nightfall."

The girl smirked, their work was never done.

to be continued.........

----------------------------------------

Kaitoumiko: Well that was short. But maybe it will hold you till next time?

Sora: I thought you were gonna post this Monday.

Kaitoumiko: I ended up eating as soon as I got home from work, and by the time I finished eating it was midnight. In my defense, I got off at 11pm.

Miyako: -eyes glint- Now write that scene! I'll get Yamato and Taichi over here to inspire you.

Sora: Or, you can always just spy on them...

Kaitoumiko: -blush- I caaaaaaaaaaaaan't!!! I'll just write it! –intense look- But tomorrow..I'm sleepy....but I will I promise! -prepares mentally-

Sora: That worked better than I planned.

Miyako: If only she can keep her gusto. Oh! Before I forget, Yamato's underwear will be kept a secret until next time, because I'm evil.

Sora: And she is evil. Review please. It really does make her happy. She can even smile through the worst customers at work when she thinks about your comments.

Kaitoumiko: -BLUSH- ......... -sob- my younger brother just yelled at me saying "You better not be writing those guyxguy stories –points to Digimon paraphernalia- ...you are aren't you!"

Miyako: He knows you so well...


	8. Of cats and bunny ways

Kaitoumiko: Hi! I am so happy that so many of you participated in the panty selection! Picking from requests was a lot harder than I thought! I loved all of your ideas. I got all giddy just thinking about Yama-chan in –such and such- underwear! Minnermon, I never considered him wearing a bra...but I'll definitely consider it when I get to it.

Miyako: The polls are as follows; I organized by color to minimize categories since most picked brief. Briefs/panties (I assumed) got a total of six votes while there was only one request for thong. Two requests for lace/frills....so...we'll consider that one, but readers say:

Black: two votes

White: two votes

Blue: one vote

Character underwear: one vote

So there was a tie! –nerve-racking silence- and that tie was broken by force of habit who voted twice or seven in one review and one in another so eight times!! Thank you for making it less difficult! They were all good requests, which I will work into another one of her fics...if I can get her to write another.

Thank you for voting.

Yamato: You can't do that, it's not ethical! One vote per reader!

Miyako: I never specified....so I can. Anyway, who am I to negate something someone really wants to see.

Kaitoumiko: –beam- I have 31 reviews! I'm so happy! Thank you so much for reading my story. It means so much to me!! I'm trying to update daily but work and school keep getting in the way. Thank you Let's-Play-With-Matches, for making me feel better about the slowing down of my updates. Also, thank you. I'm deeply honored. -bow- Sorry for the confusion in the last chapter...it wasn't all that bright to write something so late, with so little sleep...but er...it was supposed to be a bit vague...I'm too embarrassed now to go back to read it though, I did an awful job editing. –sulk-

Miyako: No whining, get up earlier and stop being long winded. Kaitoumiko does not own Digimon or Alice in Wonderland.

Taichi: And this time, there _will_ be a Taito. And it _won't_ be updated until it is. –fume-

Miyako: Calm down and read. –cracks neck- Now to get her passed her embarrassment...I'll just goad her with the chapter 7 debacle.

Kaitoumiko: NO! –runs and hides- I said I was sorry!!!!!!!!!!

Yamato: This is muse abuse! -pause- Is anyone even listening to me?

----------------------------

Yamato in Wonderland

Of cats and bunny ways

What followed was desperation like none, either boy had felt before. The hot tingling sensation that started at their lips and carried to the tips of their extremities. A feverish onslaught whose only cure was deeper more fervent kisses to discover all the hidden curves and crevices. An overwhelming need to consume the other.

Taichi somehow managed to turn the knob and gain entrance into the white rabbit's house which was slowly being littered with unnecessary clothing, in a race to see who could undress the other the fastest—a race that Yamato was by far winning.

The brunette had kicked his shoes off the moment they had set foot into the house whilst partaking in what he would later dub as "the exploration of the continent of Yama". Currently, his tongue was researching the quagmire of "mouth" while his hands were occupied finding the latitude and longitude of the plains of "back".

He pushed the blonde against the door to shut it, shrugging off his coat and vest while Yamato untied the crimson ribbon he wore as a bow tie. The cat wrapped his arms around the other boy so that he could untie the large ribbon that held the apron together, trailing small fiery kisses to the boy's nape.

Yamato who had been unbuttoning Taichi's shirt moaned softly as the cat began sucking gently at his neck, causing him to pop the last few buttons off the shirt accidentally. The blonde ran his hands up and down caressing firm tan skin, running his fingers along the pants edge. Taichi gasped, assaulting Yamato in a deep probing kiss.

Yamato, not to be outdone, started to play with the cat's pant zipper, pulling up and down in a slow tantalizing rhythm. Taichi groaned and left the blonde's back to frantically undo his pants, letting them drop to the floor.

The boy pouted. "That's not fair, Taichi." he said breathily.

Taichi leaned forward to nibble on the boy's lower lip. "It's not supposed to be."

He prodded the boy's lips apart with his tongue; gaining entrance into Yamato's mouth once again embracing him, unzipping the boy's dress. He broke the kiss suddenly, stepping back, causing a lust struck Yamato to come after him. The boy kissed the cat full on the lips but Taichi refused to give him entrance, shaking his head disapprovingly. He pulled Yamato closer so that he could whisper into his ear. "I'm unwrapping my present Yama-chan." He said nibbling on the blonde's ear. The blonde's knees buckled and would have fallen, had the cat not been holding him by the shoulders.

He kissed him gently on the nose before stepping back again, dropping the dress to the floor. Taichi smiled, giving the blushing Yamato a bemused glance.

The blonde looked at him quizzically. _Did he really think I was a girl?_ He thought angrily.

He must have noticed the blonde's sudden change in expression because he awkwardly pointed at Yamato's chest. "Er..."

The blonde looked down crossly—about to snap something rather nasty—when he noticed he was wearing a black lacy bra. How, this had escaped him, was unbeknownst to him. _At least I didn't grow breasts. _He thought in bitter consolation. Though the bra explained the slight pinch he had felt every now and then, but had blindly blamed on the dress.

"Do you usually wea—"

"No." snapped Yamato trying to uphold the few tatters of dignity left to him. He tugged at the bra in an angry attempt to take it off, only causing it to snap back at him painfully. Taichi laughed good naturedly, scooping the blonde up in his arms to take him into the living room.

"Put me down," protested the blonde, struggling half-heartedly. "I can walk by myself"

"But aren't I supposed to carry the blushing bride through the threshold?"

"I'm not a bride." Yamato pouted, wrapping his arms around the cat's neck.

"Close enough." he replied, plopping the blonde down on the large cushioned sofa.

The cat worked the bra off with an ease that made Yamato's jealousy flare just thinking he had done it to some girl. Taichi smiled. "Don't worry Yama-chan." He trailed kisses down the blonde's chest pushing the blonde into the couch. He took his boxers off as an after thought before joining the boy on the couch. "Only you..."

A blush crept into Yamato's features as he involuntarily dropped his gaze to Taichi's mid section, ill-thoughts forgotten.

"Find anything interesting?" he asked straddling the other boy.

His blushed deepened and looked away.

Taichi smirked, leaning down to place a teasing kiss on the blonde's swollen lips. The boy lifted himself to deepen the kiss but Taichi leaned back shaking his head. "Nu uh," he trailed wet kisses down the boy's neck and across his clavicle until he reach the expanse of his chest. He fingered the two pert peaks protruding above the blonde's chest, before slowly, deliberately lowering his mouth to suck on one; lightly nipping until it was red and swollen, then leisurely made his way to the other to do the same. The boy writhed below him, small hungry moans escaping through erratic breaths.

Satisfied, he moved lower, teasing the blonde's navel whilst running his hands up and down his flanks, altering between deep and feathery caresses.

The blonde moaned, sitting up suddenly, only to be pushed back into the couch softly. "Not yet, Yama-chan. I'm not done with you yet." He said, prompting a groan from the boy.

Taichi smiled, contemplating the boy's underwear. "What's the key for Yama-sama?" he asked devilishly, fingering the golden charm that hung at the top of his black silky briefs—although it would be more correct to say panties.

"Hn?" came the hazy reply.

"Nothing." He ran his hands delicately down his hips and massaged his inner thighs causing Yamato to make the most delicious sounds Taichi had ever had the pleasure of hearing.

"Ta—tai..."

Taichi happily ignored the frustrated look and the displeased moan as he ventured downward with one hand to untie the cumbersome boots, leaving the other to tease Yamato's milky white inner thighs. Occasionally he let his finger slide beneath the silky material only to allow it to snap back in place, avoiding the one thing that profoundly needed his caresses.

"Please" the boy begged.

He was already working on the second boot, and looked up at the blonde in amusement.

" 'Please' what Yama-sama?"

The blonde gave the cat a meaningful pleading look.

"You mean this?" he asked, trailing his finger lightly over the blonde's length.

Yamato moaned deeply, nodding his head frantically.

"But I haven't finished unwrapping you." Taichi pouted, pulling off the other boot, letting it drop with a dull clunk. He moved up to kiss the boy profoundly causing them both to moan into the kiss and dropped his hands to work Yamato's underwear off, vaguely noting that the back was lined with lacy frills.

Yamato was so far gone, due to Taichi's incessant ministrations that he had failed to notice that Taichi had started to seek entrance into his body. It wasn't until a strange piercing sensation had started to fill him that he yelped for Taichi to stop.

"Shh, Yama." Taichi whispered lustily. "Relax."

_Easy for you to say,_ Yamato thought apprehensively. But he took a deep breath nonetheless and forced himself to relax. Then, with gentle whispers and downy caresses, Taichi finally claimed what was his thrusting Yamato into a land in which one drowns and floats at once, in heavenly oblivion.

--------------- - - - - - -

"Yama?"

"Hn?"

"Don't fall asleep," Taichi kissed the boy's slick forehead, running his hand through disheveled locks of hair. "Let's go take a shower."

"Dun wanna" he pouted, closing his eyes shut.

Taichi poked him in the ribs causing Yamato to laugh.

"OW!" screeched Taichi. "Stop laughing, it hurts!"

But Yamato couldn't help himself, if anything he laughed harder "Ow, you dolt get off me." He said through his giggles. "Ow, Taichi!"

"I'm trying."

And with a yelp they pulled apart looking at each other sheepishly.

Yamato cringed.

"What's wrong Yama?" asked a concerned Cheshire cat. "Did I hurt you? I'm sorry I didn—"

The blonde shook his head vigorously, damp golden locks sashaying back and forth. "I have to go to the bathroom."

Taichi looked at him sympathetically and scooping the smaller boy in his arms climbed the stairs to the second floor bathroom.

Ken's house, or rather cottage was as mentioned before, rather quaint. Although, not seen by Yamato, having only had the pleasure of visiting the living room, the downstairs area also consisted of a cozy kitchen, a small dining room and an even smaller bathroom. This is mentioned, since Taichi took the effort of climbing the fifteen step flight of stairs to the master bathroom. The reason why, was that this bathroom contained a tub big enough for two. Though Ken always discouraged his guests from using this bathroom seeing as it was in _his_ room, everyone always decided that showers felt much better here, in contrast to the guest one on the first floor. That and no one wanted to go downstairs when they needed to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, seeing as the only two guest rooms were also on the second floor.

At any rate, Taichi set Yamato on the toilet and made his way to the shower. He was in the midst of turning the knobs when Yamato asked, "Um..Taichi?

"Yeah?" the cat craned his neck to look at Yamato.

"Um...I'm kinda using the bathroom."

"I know." He said adjusting the hot and cold water until it was his desired temperature. "I'm gonna take a shower, so—join me when you're finished." And with that, he climbed in the shower, closing the curtain.

Yamato glared at the cat's silhouette projected on the shower curtain.

The Cheshire cat was happily washing himself with Ken's violet scented body wash when Yamato decided to flush the toilet causing the nice tepid water to turn blistering hot. Taichi yelped, leaping to the far end of the bathtub.

The blonde smirked to himself satisfied, bouncing into the bathtub, containing the now glaring Taichi.

But Taichi couldn't stay mad at the sexy blonde for long, opting to sit quietly and enjoy watching the boy bathe.

Yamato felt better. It felt so nice to have the warm water come down his back in a soothing rhythm that he almost forgot that he was in another world. He was so caught up in his quiet daydream of beautiful boys and wonderlands that he didn't feel Taichi worm his way around him to switch the settings.

He only noticed when the water stopped caressing him and started to come out of the faucet.

"What are you doing?" demanded Yamato.

Taichi plugged the tub dumping violet scented salts into the rapidly filling tub. "Taking a bath with you."

"We were already showering, why the hell would we need a bath?"

The cat pouted. "But isn't this sorta romantic?" He let his cat ears droop.

Yamato sighed and sat at the opposite end of the tub.

"I suppose it's somewhat nice." He admitted. "Although I would have preferred to go to bed."

A silky silence fell upon them, while not uncomfortable Yamato suddenly became aware that he was naked in the presence of a complete stranger and even stranger, felt at complete peace.

"So..."

"So..." repeated Yamato, scrutinizing the various toiletries lined up on the shelf beside the tub.

_He must think I'm a complete slut._ He chanced a glance at Taichi who was currently fiddling nervously with his tail. _I'm so stupid! Why the hell did I sleep with him?! _He mentally smacked himself. He took a deep shaky breath. There was only one thing he could think of to regain his credibility as the saintly figure he was. _Okay so maybe not saintly._ He thought to himself. _But, at least not some cheap slut out to sleep with anything that moved. That's not true either, he's the only one I slept with... fuck. Say something! _He chastised himself.

"I don't make it a habit of sleeping with random people" said Yamato averting his gaze finding sudden interest in the violet and plum colored tiles.

"Neither do I." said Taichi remaining uncharacteristically silent.

Yamato felt relieved at the comment. He didn't think he could handle the thought of Taichi doing _that_ to another boy—or girl for that matter. _Was that jealousy? Oh no. I don't like-like him do I? _He turned his attention back to the cat in front of him who seemed to be having an argument with himself.

"Taichi?"

The cat looked up suddenly. "I—I'm really sorry Yamato. I didn't mean to—I mean I hadn't planned to do that, really I didn't but I—"

Yamato smiled reassured. "It's okay. It doesn't bother me." Should he be upset? He didn't think so, it had felt right. _Oh god. I'm starting to sound like those cheesy shoujo novels._ At any rate, it felt nice that the boy was considerate enough to apologize. However unnecessary the apology was, it showed he actually cared. The blonde felt his heart swell. And although reluctant to admit it to himself, he felt glowy. _Glowy? Of course not, it was only a one time thing. Damn. That makes it sound even worst. _He mentally kicked himself. _It wouldn't be bad to want more, would it?_

Taichi on the other hand felt relieved. The last thing he wanted was to have forced Yamato into something he didn't want.

"You know, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that I ended up here." The blonde said wrapping his arms around his knees. _What if it was a one time thing for him..._

"How did you get here anyway?" Taichi asked, splashing the water a bit. "We thought the door had closed."

"Closed?" And out went his romantically inclined concerns replaced with the question at hand.

"It's been awhile since anyone has appeared." He explained.

"You mean you _all_ came through the door?" It was too much to grasp. He had so many questions he wanted to ask, that they all congealed into a tangle mess leaving his speechless.

Taichi nodded. "But I can't remember anything anymore."

"That's sad." he murmurred, stretching his legs out. He placed them comfortably on Taichi's thighs, leaning his back against the porcelain tub.

The cat shrugged. "Can't be depressed over something you can't remember having." he said, rubbing Yamato's tired feet. The blonde hadn't noticed how tired they were until Taichi started massaging the tension out.

"I guess."

"You never answered my question you know."

"Hn?" He asked snapping out of his daze.

"How you got here."

"I followed the white rabbit."

Taichi shook his head, "Before that."

Yamato blinked. "I—I can't remember." And though surprised, he felt no real panic.

The cat shrugged. "Can't be helped."

Yamato frowned. He was sure if he thought about it he would be able to remember. "How did _you_ get here?"

"Actually, I followed my little sister here."

"Little sister..." repeated Yamato pensively, there was something so_...so what is this..._ "So she's here?" _I seriously need to sleep. It's probably sleep deprivation._ Yamato was slowly but surely running out of logical excuses to explain not only his current state but how he had arrived in wonderland to begin with.

"Yeah, but you haven't met her." Yamato was relieved. He didn't think he could have handle it if Miya or Sora had turned out to be his sister.

"How was that possible?" he exclaimed.

"I can't really remember." Taichi disclosed. "I just remembered being annoyed because I had something to do and Hikari was late coming home. So I went to the park and found and followed her—"

"Through the bridge and ended up here."

Taichi nodded, placing the blonde's legs between his. "Wonder what it was though. It felt important."

Yamato was lost in thought again. Something important._ What was I doing in the park...? Loitering? _

"Koushirou is trying to figure it out still." He said unplugging the tub.

He stood abruptly, holding his hand out for Yamato. "But it doesn't matter, it's not so bad living here."

Yamato took his hand and pulled himself up. "Doesn't that mean that you are trying to leave this place?"

The cat scratched his head "I suppose so." He reached for a towel and started to dry Yamato. "But it's not like we are in any hurry." he continued, wrapping the blonde in the towel.

Taichi stepped out of the tub and dried himself. "So, how 'bout that nap?"

Yamato nodded, he felt exhausted.

Taichi ushered Yamato into Ken's bedroom smiling wickedly. _Ken is going to kill me if he finds out._ He thought gleefully. The boys jumped in bed pulling the fluffy indigo covers over themselves. Taichi quickly pulled Yamato in a warm embrace. "Goodnight Yama." he said, giving Yamato a chaste goodnight kiss. _Familiar._ he thought groggily. _That's what it is. _

"Goodnight Taichi." Yamato yawned already half asleep.

"I love you Yama," he answered automatically, rubbing his nose against the blonde's hair.

"I love you too Taichi," replied the blonde absentmindedly, more asleep than awake.

"Don't wake me up too early, 'k?" instructed Taichi sleepily, wrapping his arm tighter around Yamato.

Yamato snuggled closer to Taichi. "But we have to," he mumbled. "You didn't let me finish my homework."

Taichi yawned, "It's your fault for being so sexy." He shook his head to keep from drifting asleep. "Turn it in the day after tomorrow."

"Unlike you I actually turn in my assignments," the blonde retorted drowsily. "It was due a week ag—"

Their eyes snapped open and pulled apart to stare at each other.

"Taichi/Yamato?!" The boys exclaimed accordingly, in unison, "it's _you_!"

to be continued...

-----------------------------

Kaitoumiko: -in shock- This has to be the hardest thing I have ever written. I apologize for the lousy—

Taichi: Tawdry romance novel quality? You sure this is the best you could do?

Kaitoumiko: -sob- I know, I'm sorry; it was my first limeish scene though! I'll try harder next time...um oh...and Taichi is taller than Yamato. –grin- I think it's cuter.

Yamato: Thank god I'm still a boy; I can deal with being shorter. Miya scared me when she added Minnermon's idea for a bra. You know, considering the amount of lemons you have read, I thought you would be an expert on the subject and come up with something better than this dribble.

Taichi: Ew....why would I want Yama to be a girl?

Miyako: -sigh- She's so hard to work with. She wrote it backwards! Let me know if you think it's too much or too little for the R rating and I'll attempt to make her (re-write if too much or) write another scene...or hell, if you want another limeish scene just tell me. I'll make her! Make sure to specify Daiken or Taito. -pokes Kaitoumiko with wooden spoon-

Kaitoumiko: Please review....-sob- Miya that hurts...you made it open on the limeish scene...I just –sob- stop poking me...


	9. Of high speed pursuits and foiled scheme...

Kaitoumiko: Hi I'm back! Thought I was dead didn't you? Thank you for all of your reviews! They make me oh so happy! -sparkle sparkle- I have 41! Can you believe that Yama?

Yamato: Yes, I thought you were dead. And No, I can't believe people read your dribble. –sulks in the background-

Kaitoumiko: You are so mean. –pout- But I'll be updating faster since work has died down and I just have to type the chapters!

Taichi: She doesn't own Digimon or Alice in Wonderland. This chapter contains the use of mushrooms, in a way that I doubt is possible. But who knows... oh and Daiken. What?! No Taito! Why do they get another chapter?! This is a Taito!

Ken: You're cruel, not only do you leave it off like that last chapter but you make your lovely readers wait over two weeks, and you update with this?

Daisuke: So why is Yamato upset? He isn't even in this chapter...

Ken: Because he knows what happens in the next chapter...

-------------------------------

Yamato in Wonderland

Of high speed pursuits and foiled schemes

"Ken!" huffed Daisuke finally having reached Ken. Though the hatter usually had more stamina in comparison to Ken, he had spent most of it yelling and thus was finding it rather difficult to keep up. But he managed to keep him in line sight through the vast fields of flowers until their arrival to the enormous and lavish lavender castle.

"Daisuke." He whirled around impatiently before the palace doors.

They stood staring at each other quietly, catching their breath. As mentioned before, the castle was lavender, a color which the Queen of Hearts was none too happy about and wished to have it painted. Unfortunately, the immense task was yet to be undertaken. The castle however, was rather pretty. It was made in the rococo style and the intricate detail that was seemingly weaved around the towers and walls was in contrast to the lavender a deep violet. The same violet that topped the tower's pointed shingled roof tops. The palace itself was surrounded by white roses and a white marble fountain with purple accents sat in the middle of the courtyard.

Takeru and Iori quietly made camp on the fountain for a late afternoon tea.

"Why are you always running away?"

"Why are you always chasing me."

"Because you run away." The Hatter whined.

"Maybe if you stopped chasing me I wouldn't run away."

Daisuke looked dumbfounded.

"Isn't that circular logic Ken-chan?" admonished Takeru.

"No calling by pet-names Takeru."

Takeru rolled his eyes. "If you hadn't noticed, I was trying to help you."

"What are you talking about March hare you always make it worst."

"Mad March hare." corrected Takeru. "If you aren't going to call me by name at least get my label right."

The hatter, quite the short tempered one marched up to Takeru picking him up by the lapels of his coat. "I don't care about your stupid name, just leave me alone with my Ken-chan, rabbit."

Takeru calmly took a sip of his tea. "Technically I'm a hare Daisuke, and I am not getting in the way either."

"You're such a liar Takeru!" he spat shaking the hare violently. "You—"

"Sorry to interrupt, but weren't you here to talk to Ken?" stated Iori. Had he not stopped them, it would have escalated into another scuffle. Which Iori was by now very tired of considering it happened at least five times a day—everyday.

"Of course!" he shouted exasperatedly. "Why else—"

"Because he just ran through the castle doors." He said simply, pointing in the direction of the heavy purple doors.

"He what?" and turned to find air taking place of his most precious rabbit.

"Ken! Wait for me!" He shouted after Ken.

"Do you think he'll finally get to Ken?"

Takeru shrugged, adjusting his coat and sat back down. "If he ever gets to tell him."

"He never seems to get the chance does he."

"Nope." The blonde took a sip of his tea.

"Think it has anything to do with us?" his eyes sparkled mischievously.

Takeru smirked slyly. "Maybe."

They both shook in fits of giggles.

"So we aren't chasing them this time?"

"Nope."

"That's a relief."

"Too redundant, Iori-chan?"

"Definitely."

Takeru took his and the mouse's tea cups tossing them into the fountain.

"Well," he sighed "Want to go say hi to Hikari-chan now that we are here?" he reached out for Iori's hand.

"Sure." Iori conceded, taking the hare's hand.

With that, they made their way to the rose garden hand in hand.

--------------------- - - - - - -

Ken whirled around. "Stop chasing me."

"Stop running then." huffed Daisuke.

"Why do you chase me?"

"Why do you run from me?" Daisuke glared. "Why do we always have the same conversation?"

Ken glared back at him and unlocked the door they were currently standing in front of, walking in.

"Ken-chan, please stop." He leaned on the doorsill panting breathlessly.

Ken looked at him in annoyance. "Dai, unlike some people I have a job to do. Now if you'll excuse me..." He made an attempt to shut the door, but Daisuke was not having it.

"Ken, I need to talk to you." He pleaded.

Ken sighed exasperatedly but couldn't resist the puppy dog look that the hatter was giving him. He rubbed his temples wearily and gestured him in his room. It will be noted here, that although no one actually knew what Ken's job actually was, besides running around alarmed screaming 'I'm late, I'm late' it must be said it was an important job. After all he had a room allotted to him in the castle. And a mighty fancy one at that.

Daisuke made his way to the fluffy canopy bed, plopping down on violet covers. He lay awhile catching his breath a bit, contemplating Ken's room. It was actually his first time there, he had never actually chased him to the castle before—it would explain why Ken was miffed at him. The whole room was draped in purple and its various gradients. With the exception of the actual furniture which was white and trimmed with gold. He stared at Ken for awhile, as the boy tidied himself up in front of his vanity. _He looks like a princess,_ thought Daisuke dreamily.

"You deserve this castle more than the Queen of Hearts." Daisuke said, though he didn't realize he had said it aloud until Ken turned to give him a bewildered glance.

"Er, I mean she doesn't even like purple and the whole castle _is_ purple," he stammered.

Ken looked at him thoughtfully and smiled. "Guess you are right, though it's more of a lavender." he frowned. "Is that what you have been trying to tell me all this time?"

"N-no." he averted his eyes.

Ken walked over and sat next to the hatter. "What is it Daisuke?"

"I have something really important to tell you." He sat up swinging his legs out so that they dangled off the huge bed. "but I don't know how to say it."

"Is that why you drugged me?" he arched his eyebrow and with it one ear perked and the other drooped. Daisuke couldn't help but wonder how Ken always managed to look so elegant.

The hatter shifted nervously. "That wasn't the idea."

"Then what was?"

A tired sigh emitted from the darker boy, and such was the start of an odd tale.

------------------------------- - - - - - -

"You sure this won't kill them?" the hatter eyed the caterpillar warily.

Koushirou rubbed his temples with tried patience. "It's a sedative not poison."

Daisuke looked at the mushrooms in his hand. "How do they work?"

"Put them in a blender and liquefy them, then boil it in enough water for a tea kettle," explained Koushirou. "then add tea, there shouldn't be any after taste but you shouldn't boil it with anyone near, a smell will be emitted."

"Okay, so liquefy, boil, add water then tea? Got it."

"Good."

Daisuke turned to leave, much to the caterpillar's relief. That boy always seemed to give him a headache. But the boy stopped in his tracks and turned around, Koushirou fought the urge to cringe.

"How long does it work for anyway?"

The caterpillar raked his hands through his hair. "About an hour."

"We'll, I'll be seeing you, thanks Koushirou I owe you one."

With that, the Mad Hatter pranced his way home. The caterpillar waved distractedly at the hatter's figure which was slowly being consumed by the forest's foliage, as he vanished into the horizon.

"Them?"

---- ----- ------ ------- --------

"Hi Takeru, Iori nice of you to drop by today." said Daisuke through a toothy smile. He really hadn't expected them quite so soon. He placed the two tea kettles he currently was holding on the table.

"Hey." The two boys waved.

"We always come over Daisuke." Takeru stated.

"Take-chan, isn't he being rather peculiar today?" the mouse whispered, leaning toward the March hare.

"I believe you're right Iori-chan." he whispered back.

That tone again. _I better hurry,_ thought Daisuke. Every time they spoke that way, they always made Ken run away, or always ended up ruining his plans.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" he asked pouring the rabbit and the mouse a cup of tea from the green kettle.

The boys exchanged a sidelong glance. Had Daisuke _ever_ offered tea?

"Help yourselves. It's not every day that I make tea." again that toothy smile. The hatter handed them a cup each, ushering them into their usual seats. Which, unfortunately for Daisuke was about the time Ken arrived, knocking timidly on the garden gate.

"Daisuke? You there? I just came—"

"Hi, Ken-chan!" he said hastily, blocking Ken's view of the garden. The table was to the right and was blocked from view due to the cumbersome bushes kept at either side of the entrance. However, if positioned correctly, it was an optimal location to spy from, unseen.

The indigo haired boy blushed. "You weren't busy were you?"

"Course not."

Daisuke of course hadn't expected Ken to show up quite this early so he hadn't had time to drag the sleeping hare and mouse into the house, so that he and Ken could have a romantic interlude in the garden. Though his romantic interlude was nowhere _near_ Taichi and Yamato's caliber.

Seeing as finding a sleeping Takeru and Iori in the garden was out of the question, Daisuke decided to do the only thing he could think of.

"Hey, good thing you stopped by I er—wanted to show you something in my—um room."

"O-okay."

Daisuke quickly ushered the white rabbit indoors.

"Iori-chan don't drink that." Takeru warned stopping Iori mid-sip. Takeru, not one to miss the chance to prevent Daisuke from telling Ken how he felt, had been too busy analyzing Daisuke's odd behavior to instigate as usual. Iori on the other hand, always let Takeru have all the fun, he rather watch anyway and it didn't matter who was stopping Daisuke as long as they won the bet.

"What's wrong?" Iori queried. "I know Daisuke is annoyed with us, but he wouldn't poison us Take-chan."

"I don't think so either." Takeru agreed, "But I wouldn't put sleeping powder past him."

"Do you really think—"

"Since when does he offer, let alone _make_ tea?"

"Point taken." Iori eyed the tea kettles. "Is there tea in the purple one?"

Takeru checked. "Affirmative."

Iori smirked. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

The hare smiled wickedly. "Switch tea and pretend to be sleeping?"

"Bingo."

So it was with great misfortune that when Daisuke offered Ken tea, he found both boys asleep in the garden. They had made quite a show of spilling their tea cups on the table and lying with their arms in a haphazard fashion. A bit staged, but overlooked by an anxious hatter.

Thus, not wanting to take too long and have Ken come down after him, he grabbed the purple tea kettle. He had picked it since it matched Ken's eyes and as such, would not accidentally take the wrong one.

This of course was not at all that well thought out on Daisuke's behalf, since it was a bit silly that he had set both tea kettles on the table in the first place.

But the hatter relaxed by the time he had climbed the stairs to his bedroom. _Mission accomplished,_ he congratulated himself. Though really, if anything, only half of it was actually carried out. And in reality, it had been a failure.

He found Ken sitting quietly on his bed idly fingering the pattern on his bedspread.

"Are Takeru and Iori here yet?" Seeing as the only window in the hatter's bedroom faced north toward Ken's house, it would have been impossible for him to know they were in the garden. Especially since Takeru always made their presence known.

Daisuke shrugged nervously. "Guess they're running late."

"oh."

A silence fell upon them, which was quite abnormal for the hatter since he never seemed to know when to be quiet but seeing as he was alone with Ken for perhaps the first time, unnerved him.

It finally meant no interruptions, that he could finally tell Ken the way he felt about him. He poured Ken a cup of tea and handed it to him, pouring himself a cup shakily.

"So..." Ken trailed off taking a sip of tea.

"Uh..." Daisuke looked at his tea nervously.

"Um...what were you going to show me?" he asked taking another sip of tea.

"Oh yeah." A flustered Daisuke placed the tea-cup down and was sent into a wild panic. What could he show him?

"Did you forget Dais?" he tilted his head and drooped one of his ears.

Wait. Maybe this would be the perfect time to confess.

Ken finished off his tea and poured himself another cup. The hatter turned to Ken and was met with a perplexed stare.

Though he had wanted this to be romantic not awkward.

"Ken?"

"Yes?" he took another sip of tea

"What I really called you up here for was—" he stumbled, trying to form the right words. "I mean what I mean to say..."

Ken set his tea cup on the nightstand abruptly. He was looking rather pale. "Dais," he teetered from his seat on the bed. "I don't feel so—" and fell backwards asleep.

Daisuke stared at the boy in incomprehension.

"Ken?" he shook him. "Wake up Ken-chan" and though he shook him a bit violently the darker haired boy didn't even stir.

He gave up and took the boy's shoes off before straightening him in the bed. He was about to undress him and was untying the violet ribbon he wore as a bowtie when the creak of his bedroom door opening startled him.

He turned to find the Mad March hare and Dormouse leaning on either side of the doorsill.

"My, my Iori chan, what have we here?"

"Looks to me like Daisuke was going to have his way with him, Take-chan," smirked Iori. "In a very non-consensual way."

Daisuke turned a deep scarlet and glared at the two boys. Neither was sure whether he was embarrassed or angry so they settled on a little bit of both.

"What did you do to my Ken-chan!" demanded Daisuke.

"_We_ didn't do anything." stated Takeru. "Who was the one who drugged the tea?"

"But you were—"

"Faking." Cut off Iori. "Takeru thought it was awfully peculiar of you to offer tea, the only explanation for it would be if you..." he motioned toward Takeru, who took over.

"So if we pretended to be sleeping and you didn't say anything, it would only mean we were right."

"But—"

"We switched the tea." informed Iori. "Seriously, Daisuke. Why did you bring both out?"

"It's not my fault you came so early."

Takeru laughed. "Just wait till we tell Ken-chan when he wakes up."

"You wouldn't dare." Daisuke was livid. In fact, he didn't catch the pet name.

------------------------------- - - - - - -

"But they did." said Ken matter-of-factly.

"I know," Daisuke lamented. "But I didn't do anything indecent I swear!"

"So how is it that I ended up in my underwear?"

"I wanted you to sleep comfortably."

Originally Daisuke had told him he had been so tired he had ended up going to bed which, wasn't an unusual thing in itself. Since he did do it quite often. But he had always slept with his clothes on at Daisuke's.

Thus, Ken had dismissed it as fatigue and the habit of sleeping in his underwear at home.

And though Takeru and Iori could have told the White Rabbit the truth a long time ago, they still had the ongoing bet with Miya and Sora. Daisuke on the other hand thought that they were being nice.

"So why did you drug the tea to begin with?" In the retelling of the story, he had conveniently forgotten to tell him that the confession of his true feelings was the point of the whole drugged tea mishap, making the story sound odder than it should have.

"I told you it was for Takeru and Iori—"

"You told me for whom." Ken was not amused. "_why_?"

"I'm getting to that."

"Why don't you just come out and say it."

"Because it's harder than it sounds." snapped Daisuke. "If it was that easy I would have told you a long time ago."

"Then what's so hard to tell me." Ken stood up. He was too aggravated to sit down any longer. But something deep inside him, fluttered. _Could it be...?_ He blushed at the thought, but pushed it away. It wasn't possible. Life did not work out in fairytales. Though, he should have reconsidered his stand on life since he was living one.

"It's just that—" he faltered again. He looked up at an annoyed Ken. This was not what he had imagined it would be like. "I didn't imagine I'd tell you like this..."

Ken sighed exasperatedly. "So are you or are you not going to tell me Daisuke?" his heart raced, was Daisuke really going to tell him what he thought he was going to tell him? Or was he just imagining something that wasn't there. _No false hopes..._ he reminded himself. _He'll probably tell me he's having an affair with Takeru, the way those two fight. It's just an excuse to touch each other._ This line of thought only made him angrier.

"Forget it." Ken spat. "I don't want to know." He turned to storm off, but Daisuke caught his arm.

"Will you listen to me?"

Ken startled and turned slowly to look at a frustrated Daisuke.

"I've been trying to tell you for the longest time, but no one ever let's me tell you."

"D-Dai—"

Daisuke held up his hand. "And every time I get a chance, I lose the gall to tell you."

He stood up and took Ken by the shoulders, looking into violet eyes. "Don't you see Ken-chan? I love you."

Ken's mouth hung open slightly. He must have heard wrong. But, Daisuke's eyes were unmistakable. The white rabbit was overwhelmed with emotions and didn't quite know what to do with himself. He was relieved and so happy that streams of tears began to run down his face. He was seriously emotionally over wrought.

"Don't cry." Daisuke said panicking. He wiped the boy's tears away anxiously. "I take it back. Ken-chan—"

"Ken-chan?"

But Ken just wrapped his arms around the darker boy and sobbed quietly, content.

to be continued....

-----------------------------

Kaitoumiko: I'm NEVER writing my fanfics in pencil. –sob- It takes so long to read –sob- should have used ink....

Miyako: No excuses get to work!

Ken: -whips Kaitoumiko- You heard her! Start the next chapter!

Daisuke: Whoa Ken! When did you go all Kaizer?

Ken: When she decided she wanted to go to sleep. Sleep is for the weak!

Kaitoumiko: But... -sob-

Daisuke: -nibbles Ken's neck- How bout we –whisper whisper-

Ken: -drops whip- Sorry Miya, you're on your own. –runs off with Daisuke-

Miyako: -evil cackle- Who's ready for a lemonish Taito scene? Review please!

Daisuke: -peeks back in- Don't forget! About her webpage!

Miyako: That's right. Please visit and maybe send your own fanart! Just go to her user profile and click the homepage link. Though originally made to house fanart made for her stories any fanart is accepted. Thank you!


	10. Of romance revived, a lover's reprise

Kaitoumiko: Yay 45 reviews and two 'you better get your ass in gear' ones! I'm so Happy! (capitalization is necessary) -sigh- And to think that this story was originally intended as a ten chapter story.

Miyako: It metastasized and veered out of control didn't it? –pleased with herself-

Yamato: No thanks to you.

Miyako: Are you still sour Yama? I think you deserve it after the outfits you gave Sora and I.

Taichi: She still doesn't own Digimon or Alice in Wonderland. This _will _contain Taito and _only_ Taito! And it will be R! Finally! R at the brink of NC-17 and you better not pull a fast one either.

Kaitoumiko: I won't. –content- I'm happy to know that I am among my people. –tears of joy-

Yamato: Your 'people'?

Kaitoumiko: –sparkle- Lemon loving yaoi fanatics.

Miyako: So once again be warned….lemonish tawdriness up ahead…

* * *

Yamato in Wonderland

Of romance revived, a lovers reprise

At least this explained why he had so readily slept with him, he mused. They sat in quiet awe of each other—after all, what were the chances of meeting the love of your life in your lifetime, let alone finding him _twice_ and in another dimension no less. A warm smile slowly spread on the cat's face. "Hi, Yama, long time no see."

Yamato blushed, returning a shy smile. "Hi Taichi."

The cat leaned back to turn on the lamp light on the nightstand beside the bed, casting the room in a warm dim glow. The fact that the world outside slowly drifted into darkness alerted Yamato to an extremely troublesome thought.

"Isn't Ken coming back?" asked Yamato. Though not one to complain (by his standards at least), he feared Ken would come back to claim his room and finding them both nude and most likely in a compromising position would probably be the last thing on the rabbit's agenda.

Taichi lay back down on the bed pulling Yamato with him. "Ken hardly ever sleeps here."

Yamato arched his eyebrow. "And how would you know that?"

"Because I sleep here often."

"Hasn't he caught you?"

"Hardly." The cat grinned. "I just pretend to be visiting if he does…but I think he usually sleeps over at the castle."

"Why?"

"Because the Queen is pretty demanding?"

"Are you asking me?" he touched the cat's ears curiously. "They feel like cat ears." And out went any further consideration for Ken.

Taichi laughed. "What else are they supposed to feel like?"

Yamato not at all pleased, attempted to roll off of the cat but wasn't allowed. Taichi pulled him into a closer embrace.

"Yama! I was kidding." He licked him playfully on the nose.

The boy pouted but refrained from rolling over again.

"You're beautiful Yama," stated the cat. "I missed you."

Yamato scoffed. "How could you miss me if you didn't even remember me?"

Taichi pouted. "But I missed you deep inside."

He sighed. "Me too Taichi."

The Cheshire cat laughed. "Now, who's talking."

Yamato was in the middle of a relatively snide remark when he noticed that not only did he lose the urge to finish his comment but Taichi had found a rather interesting way to mute him. The next thing the blonde knew was that he was on his back staring up at a cheeky cat. He looked down between their bodies to investigate the growing incessant prodding on his left upper thigh.

"Again?" he asked the cat incredulously.

Taichi pouted. "But we're young and virile." He shook the bed to accentuate each word.

"Taichi, do you even _know_ what the word virile means?"

"Yama!" he whined ignoring the blonde's last comment. "That was when I thought you were a sexy angel sent to me for my carnal pleasure!"

The blonde scoffed. "Carnal pleasure?" and though he feigned indignity here, he was utterly amused. "That's all I am to you?"

"Course not." He flailed his arms theatrically. "You are the love on my life who transcended dimensions to appease my carnal pleasures."

"So I'm your sex slave now?"

"Damn right."

"Since when did the great Taichi-sama learn such big words?"

Taichi sighed. "I've been hanging out with Koushirou too much late—hey that's not what you're supposed to say."

"What _am_ I supposed to say?" He asked coyly, encircling his arms around the cat's neck.

"You're supposed to say 'Take me Taichi-sama'"

Yamato rolled his eyes at the falsetto. "I do not have a high-pitched voice."

"I dunno…" Taichi raked his hands across the boy's chest, gently pinching a swollen peak.

The blonde moaned softly, despite himself.

"See." He said kissing the blonde's lips teasingly. "You _do_ have a high-pitched voice."

The blonde shook his head. "Do not."

Taichi ducked his head to suck on the hollow of the boy's neck causing a low deep moan to emit from the boy below him.

The cat glared at the boy who hazily stared back at him. He was challenging him—at least, that was what Taichi thought. So, not one to be defied, lowered his hand to slightly brush over the blonde's length. An unintelligible sound emitted from Yamato as the cat wrapped his fingers firmly around him—a sound that could probably be classified as being somewhere between a gasp and a squeak—and thus satisfied, Taichi looked up smugly. "See Yama? High pitched."

Though Yamato _was_ an octave higher than normal, it was still far from falsetto. This however was a technicality Taichi was not bothering with.

"So can I?" asked Taichi pulling the most pitiful look he could muster.

The blonde nodded. He really did have a weakness for the idiot. And who in their right mind would say no to someone as sexy as Taichi in the first place? So they fell once more headlong in the tawdry sea of lust. However, the desperation that had once enveloped them was lost. In its stead were sweet and gentle kisses that lined the expanse of the blonde's chest.

He glided his hands softly down the blonde's flanks sending gentle shivers down the boy's back.

"I love you Yama"

The boy moaned in response as Taichi cupped his rear tenderly kneading it in his hands.

"Taichi," he whimpered.

The cat bent down to kiss the blonde's swollen lips. He nimbly swept his fingers across the blonde's stomach, down to his sinewy thighs in a gently teasing fashion. He familiarized himself once more with his lover's body, gently coxing soft mewling moans from the writhing boy below him.

This time, when he sought entrance into Yamato's body, he met with no resistance. Sliding into him in one deep thrust. Fingers entwined and a slow rocking rhythm commenced.

Yamato gasped in muted intervals, and in his lust filled delirium, wondered if this was how it felt to be sand underneath the foaming surf and crashing waves.

It wasn't long before the two boys reached their zenith, with sharp hollow breaths. Taichi smiled serenely at Yamato before wearily collapsing on top of him. The blonde contently wrapped his arms around the cat, languidly running his hands up and down his tan shoulder blades.

"What happened to being 'virile' oh great 'Taichi-sama'?" teased Yamato hazily.

The Cheshire cat kissed the blonde's forehead. "Shut up," he replied playfully, parting from Yamato.

"Though it is nice to know I didn't just screw some guy."

"'Some guy'?" Taichi scoffed good-naturedly, and sighed dramatically. "I thought you were an angel sent to diminish my carnal desires, but it turns out it was the other way around….woe is me…I was used."

"Hmm…that too." The blonde replied, "It makes me feel less slutty though, knowing that maybe it was a subconscious thing—used?" Yamato frowned, finally having registered what had been said to him. "If I remember correctly, I was the one who was pushed down onto the sofa."

Taichi laughed. "You win, you win. But maybe you're right, I mean, about the subconscious thing." Taichi sure hoped it was, then it wouldn't seem so non-consensual. Though he didn't remember Yamato ever pleading for him to stop, well there was the one instance, but that couldn't really be counted could it? So caught up was he in this train of thought again that he hadn't realized that they both had stopped talking. "Hey are you falling asleep?" He shook Yamato gently but was only answered with a grumble.

The cat smiled. Guess they would talk about the whole ordeal tomorrow.

Yamato vaguely felt himself be picked up and placed on a cold seat. He frowned slightly at the sudden change in temperature.

"Yama," he looked up dreamily at Taichi. "I'm gonna wash up, I'll be back to clean you in a bit 'kay?"

The blonde nodded hazily.

After much trial, they had both learned that unless they washed up after, they would be a sticky mess in the morning and their sheets would definitely need washing. Thus, coming to the conclusion that cleaning up was a small price to pay—though neither ever wanted to, preferring to fall asleep in the peaceful aftermath.

So after gently cleaning Yamato as he had promised, he lifted him once more in his arms and gently lay him down in the soft plush bed.

And wrapped in each other's arms, they fell into a nice long dream.

to be continued...

* * *

Kaitoumiko: -lowers head in shame- very late and very tawdry….and though I'm sure still vague...I feel I'm pushing it a bit…Then again...it's no worse than primetime tv. I'll go crawl in a corner and die now.

Yamato: You make your readers wait this long for this?

Kaitoumiko: -sob- I'm sorry. (Though Yamato complains about my choice of topic he is the one who nags the most) Thank you, Melissa-Tao for giving me the final clonk on the head to get me going again.

Miyako: As an, 'I'm sorry' and to honor her disgraceful behavior she will draw fanart for everyone who reviews. Just tell her what you want. You can email her or write it in the review itself if your email is in your bio page.

Yamato: She's bribing people into reviewing her story now?

Kaitoumiko: It's my peace offering…

Taichi: Review please. And thank you Melissa-Tao for the wonderful picture of me.

Yamato: Aren't _you_ being narcissistic.

Kaitoumiko: Someone's jealous. And a belated thank you for Luma-chan's piccy of Ken-chan… Dai-chan framed it and sends his love.


	11. Of losing bets and misconceptions

Kaitoumiko: Thank you for everyone's continued support. I have been very, very bad. And er...thank you all for your interesting um…reviews….keep it nice ne?

Yamato: To think you had this chapter written out three months ago…

Kaitoumiko: Someone was giving me a hard time with the last chapter…couldn't continue without that one small scene…and still you cut it short…

Yamato: There was no plot development; there was no need for that stupid chapter.

Daisuke: More importantly, there will be Daiken and less important -vague- Takori in this chapter. We have taken over as the protagonists!

Taichi: And on that note, she doesn't own Digimon or Alice in Wonderland.

Ken: Enjoy.

* * *

Yamato in Wonderland 

Of losing bets and misconceptions

"Can you see anything?"

"No." bemoaned Miyako, she waved her hand at the girl to silence her. "Shh, they're talking."

The girls pressed their ears closer to the door, careful not to open it further, seeing as it had been left slightly ajar. They had become bored with Koushirou, seeing as he had locked himself up in the palace library to do whatever it was he did on his laptop and were wandering around looking for the King and Queen of Hearts when they saw Daisuke and Ken run by, the prior chasing the latter—

Which brings us to the situation at hand…

"I've been trying to tell you for the longest time, but no one ever lets me tell you."

"D-Dai—"

"And every time I get a chance, I lose the gall to tell you."

The girls turned to each other and gagged at the sheer sappiness.

"Don't you see Ken-chan? I love you."

Miyako shot Sora a perplexed and worried glance. "Since when did Dai become overdramatic?"

Sora shook her head in incomprehension. "At least this means we win." Then they heard heart wrenching sobs.

"Is Dai crying?" demanded Sora.

Miyako attempted to look through the crack in the door but to no avail. "I can't see."

"Don't cry." It was Daisuke. The two girls relaxed and turned to each other again, that meant Ken was crying.

"Why is Ken crying?"insisted the baffled brunette.

"How the hell should I know." She bit her lower lip in frustration.

"I take it back. Ken-chan"

"What?" they exclaimed in unison, a bit too loudly but left unnoticed by the duo.

"Why is he taking it back, Sora?"

Her partner in crime looked at her blankly. "I don't know…" Their calculations were never off. Why was it that this had derailed so badly?

"Ken-chan?"

A few minutes passed, but they heard nothing but Ken's soft wails.

"Still out of range." Miyako stated, anticipating the question. "I think they are holding each other…"

She would have continued to say that they were on the bed—at least by her deductions—when the door suddenly opened.

They looked up sheepishly to find a devious hatter staring back at them. "Overdramatic?" Daisuke smirk widened. "Miya, weren't you the one who suggested I go shoujo and have Ken melt in my arms?"

"Well, I…"

Ken giggled from his seat on the bed. "And wasn't it you who said I should cry and throw myself on him?"

"Cry not sob." defended Sora.

Miyako blinked, suddenly becoming angry. "Wait you mean to tell us, this was all staged?" She stood up abruptly to leer at Daisuke, nearly knocking Sora over in the process. The brunette straightened herself and leaned irritably on the doorsill.

The two boys burst out laughing. "You betcha." exclaimed Daisuke.

The girls were beside themselves. "How—"

"Could it have possibly slipped by you, Miya?" smirked Daisuke.

"It's impossible for the both of you to keep an eye on everyone." stated Ken. "So when I was away on 'business' I was actually at Dai-chan's house."

"So Takeru and Iori already know?" seethed Miyako.

"Nope." said the hatter. "Ken-chan would leave in the morning and come back awhile later."

"That makes no sense." Sora muttered distantly.

"It's not supposed to." Ken replied. "But you never did find out what my job was did you?"

The girls shook their heads.

"You'd only run around in circles," Miyako smiled awkwardly. "So we got bored of chasing you and went on to more amusing things."

"Wait a minute." Sora frowned. "So who's living at your house Ken?"

"No one. I'm always with Daisuke. Why?"

"The light is always on in your room."

Ken's eyebrows furrowed. "Aren't you two supposed to know? What happened to 'we know all that happens in the land'"

Miyako looked like she was about to pull her hair out. Then again,the murderous glint in her eyes could have easily alluded to her desire todismember the two boys in front of her with her bare hands, in a pleasantly horrific fashion.You really never knew what Miyako would do when she was angry.

"Calm down Miya," soothed Sora cautiously.

"We accept defeat for now but you will see." fumed Miyako, as she took Sora's hand and stormed out of the overly purple room.

They turned to look at each other silently.The boys could almost swear that she was foaming at the mouth.

"That went well."

"You think?" the white rabbit stood, smoothing the wrinkles from his coat.

"Wanna go talk to Hikari?"

"Sure."

So with that they left to go join Hikari in the rose garden, closing the door with a soft swift click.

"Somehow that was disappointing."

"What was?" Ken looked at him distractedly.

"The whole Miya and Sora thing." He said opening the heavy doors leading to the rose garden.

"I suppose it was somewhat anti-climatic." They had been awaiting the day they could openly tell the crazy lot that they had finally confessed their feeling to one and other…but somehow it didn't happen quite the way they had planned.

"We can always tell Takeru and Iori…" The rabbit proposed, pointing out the hare and mouse that were lounging beneath the shade of a tall rose bush.

"Why do you even bother anymore?" asked the March hare.

Hikari sighed exasperatedly. "Because the Queen of Hearts wants them all pink."

"I thought you'd be done by now." asserted Daisuke, coming to a halt in front of Hikari.

The trump card turned to look at him snappily, pushing her hair from her face. "They all turn white by tomorrow, to top it off; she wants the castle pink too."

"Maybe you have to paint all the roses in one day." suggested Ken. "Like a spell or something."

"Excellent idea Ken-chan."

Daisuke whirled around angrily "I don't care who you are, I'm the only who gets to call him Ken-chan."

Mimi ignored Daisuke completely, pushing him aside. "Hikari-chan, I command you to paint all the roses by tonight."

"Mimi, that's impossible, I can hardly do half in a day." In reality, she was only able to paint a fourth if at all completely, but had given that up a long time ago. Instead, she had started to paint the roses haphazardly skipping the hidden ones and skimming through the others.

The Queen of Hearts fanned herself irritably "Then off with your head!" She turned to leer at Daisuke, "Off with yours too."

"Now, now dear, you really don't want to do that do you?" the King of Hearts tugged on her arm pleadingly. He was the type of person who tended to blend in so pathetically with the background that one would hardly ever notice he was beside them unless he uttered a word. "You won't have anyone to paint your roses anymore if…"

"I can do whatever I please." She pointed to the crown. "So do as I say."

Takeru brought out his tea kettle once more and poured himself and Iori a cup of tea. The hare seemed to have the uncanny talent of having a tea set with him at all times.

"You know," the hare stated off-handedly, "even if the five of us did it, we still would be about four people short."

Dormouse put his tea cup down, "And somehow I doubt Taichi would even bother helping your cause…"

"Or Koushirou for that matter…" added Ken.

Mimi fumed. "Then I'll take all your heads!"

"But then you'll be lonely." Daisuke pointed out.

The argument continued heatedly, for quite some time, and would have kept on going had Miyako and Sora not arrived running down the path at full speed, flushed and what seemed like not even breathing. Suddenly everyone lost interest in bickering back and forth, waiting patiently until the two girls finally caught their breath.

"We almost forgot to tell you all, since we got sidetracked with Daisuke and Ken." huffed Miyako.

"Which by the way, they are now a couple so we win." added Sora.

Daisuke's jaw dropped. "We were supposed to tell them jerks."

Takeru and Iori didn't seem surprised. "We figured as much." statedthe mousenonchalantly.

"You don't understand this happened a long time ago." explained Miyako with a wave of her hand.

"Wait." Takeru—now interested, threw his tea cup over his shoulder. "Exactly how long ago _was_ it."

"No littering in my garden." demanded Mimi. But was thoroughly ignored, something she was not quite used to. However, the mad tea bunch had a habit of throwing their tea essentials about wherever they went. If that was any consolation to her.

Daisuke grinned cheerfully, "Actually it was after the drugged tea thing—" The poor hatter was left mouth agape, and unable to finish his story as he was as usual, interrupted.

"You've got to be kidding me." Miyako seethed. "That was like half a year ago!"

"Guess that means we win," drawled a smug Takeru.

"Win what?" inquired Mimi.

"Takeru and Miyako bet that if Daisuke were to finally confess that she would be there. Although Takeru said that it was pointless, and Ken would wither away before Daisuke ever got up the courage to ask to begin with." Iori took a breath and continued, "So, Takeru and I made it our mission to stop Daisuke from ever telling Ken, while Miyako and Sora tried to convince him to tell him."

"That has to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard," commented Jyou, carefully picking up the porcelain shards that now littered the garden. "I don't even really see the point to it."

"Anyway," Miyako continued, "If we lost, we had to stop trying to see Takeru deflower Iori."

Takeru frowned, and grumbled something about perverts but it was too soft for anyone but Iori to hear. The hare cleared his throat and tried again, "If we lost, we would have to join Miyako and Sora on their 'Get Jyou and Koushirou to realize each other's feelings' campaign."

Jyou was outraged. "How many times do I have to tell you I don't like Koushirou! I like Mimi! Isn't it obvious the King and Queen of Hearts?"

"He says this, but he has yet to touch me" sighed Mimi dramatically, though perhaps it was normal for her, seeing as she was always dramatic.

"You like to sleep in separate rooms!"

Mimi ignored this comment, looking up at the sky woefully.

"You talk to Koushirou more than you do her." retorted Sora.

Jyou glared at them, "Because I can actually talk to him about something other than listening to complaints about white roses and purple castles."

"It really is more of a lavender color." mused Mimi drumming her fingers over an indignant pout.

The King of Hearts was about to explode, when Daisuke interrupted him. "You ran all the way back to tell us that?"

"Oh, that's right." Miyako straightened her glasses, allowing the sun to reflect an ominous gleam off of them. "We found out who has been living at your house Ken."

Ken smiled, "Is that so? It wouldn't happen to be a tall lanky cat with bushy chestnut hair would it?"

"You knew!" They exclaimed in unison.

"Serves you right" Daisuke teased.

"He also screwed Blondie on your couch and bed." She said sticking her tongue out at him.

Ken turned white.

"I dunno Miya," interjected Sora, "We only saw the hot and steamy sex they had on the couch, who knows what they ended up doing in his bed..."

"Uh…Ken-chan? Breathe…." Daisuke shook Ken gently trying to coax him out of his 'must kill Taichi' frame of mind.

A satisfied smirk found its way onto Miyako's face.

Revenge had never tasted so sweet.

To be continued…

* * *

Yamato: There are inconsistencies in the plot, dimwit. 

Kaitoumiko: -smiles confidently- No there aren't. It will all be revealed in the final chapter! Which may or may not be the next one… It will all come together then, if the reader's haven't already figured it out…

Yamato: Is this a sorry attempt to cover plot holes?

Kaitoumiko: -pout- You give me so little credit! Hey where did Dai and Ken go?

Taichi: You don't want to know… Review please!


	12. Of trump cards and parlour games

Kaitoumiko: Wow 63 reviews! That's over half of one hundred. I'm so happy oh and minnermon…don't worry…you didn't overreact…especially since Daisuke has yet to tell everyone how he actually told Ken….which is in this chapter!

Yamato: -claps- There you have it folks, Km's amazing ability to point out the obvious.

Kaitoumiko: Don't shorten my name.

Taichi: Km doesn't own Digimon or Alice in Wonderland. Yamato belongs to me. Uh…limeish taito and daiken a lesser takori and further insanity.

Kaitoumiko: -grates teeth- Taichi seems to have a death wish…..oh Ken-chan…will you come here a minute…make sure to bring that whip of yours…

Taichi: -sweatdrop- The grandiose and benevolently compassionate Kaitoumiko would love for you to enjoy the following chapter…

---------------------------

Yamato in Wonderland

Of trump cards and parlor games

It was morning by the time Yamato opened his eyes to find himself warm and comfortably snuggled up against a softly snoring cat. The soft morning haze filtered the golden sunlight that trickled into the room giving Taichi a warm glow. Yamato propped himself up on his elbow to admire the boy beside him but that was soon shattered as he tried to stifle his giggles realizing that said boy was drooling.

Taichi opened his eyes drowsily and looked at Yamato quizzically.

"You're drooling," spluttered the blonde, unable to contain his laughter.

The cat, none to pleased tossed a pillow at the boy playfully. Yamato tossed another back at him, and thus started an impromptu pillow flight.

"I win!" Yamato announced as their pillow provisions were exhausted save for the one in his hand.

"Not if I can help it," Taichi stated launching himself at the boy.

"Taichi! Let go!" the blonde demanded, trying to unpin himself but failing.

"Not gonna happen." Shot back the Cheshire cat smiling triumphantly.

Yamato looked up at him in feigned irritability.

"Yama," he wheedled leaving burning kisses along his jawline.

"Hm?" Yamato responded. He could see where this was going and was upset at himself for not being bothered by it.

Taichi seemed to take that as a 'yes' and continued his exploration down to the boys chest. As he licked and nipped at the boys swollen nipples he let one of his hands drop down to stroke the blonde's length drawing out soft mewling moans from Yamato.

The brunette shifted his weight so that he could whisper in Yamato's ear. "My mouth or my hand"

Yamato blushed and shook his head. How could he be asking him such an embarassing question. Then again he would prefer his...but that was beside the point he refused to give in to Taichi.

"My mouth or my hand" he repeated again huskily, slowing down his hand to accentuate each word. Yamato arched his back.

"Taichi..." Poor Yamato's resolves was quickly weakening.

"Yes love," he answered teasingly. "which will it be?"

He whispered something inaudible.

"What was that?" smiled Taichi leaning down closer to hear the response. "Whatever you say Yama-sama"

The Cheshire cat leaned down and took the blonde in his mouth causing the boy to jump up in rapture.

"Yama," the cat purred, brushing away a stray golden lock from the boy's face.

"Hn…" Yamato was happily using the cat's chest as a pillow and wasn't planning on moving any time soon.

"We really should get going."

"Dun' wanna"

Though, there really was no hurry, Taichi couldn't help but want to introduce his newly acquired prize to everyone. Despite the fact that he was objectifying Yamato, it was something that he would never readily admit to.

So, it was with much prodding, that Yamato was able to take his leave in accompaniment of the Cheshire cat. Taichi looked over at the blonde boy who was slightly scowling as the bra he had refused to put on had reappeared on his body magically and now that he knew of its existence bothered him all the more.

Taichi smiled to himself, getting Yamato to wear the boots was considerably the hardest part of getting him to leave the house. He had been able to get the blonde out of bed easily by jumping in the shower. And though it took all of Taichi's willpower not to jump back in bed he spent the rest of the time coaxing him into the dress and into the painful looking boots.

"What are you smiling about" Yamato snapped poutily.

Taichi threw his hands up defensively. "Nothing really" But the smile only widened. There really wasn't anything cuter than a pouty Yama.

The cat wrapped his arm around the smaller boy and kissed him apologetically on his forehead. With that, Yamato's features softened and all was forgotten as they walked hand in hand pleasantly in the quickly receding morning.

Although, he was stuck in the dress again and had to walk in boots that his tender feet had yet to be accustomed to, he thought that this time around the company was much better, and his discomfort soon faded as he began enjoying Taichi's company.

They walked for quite a way, exchanging pointless stories that they had forgotten. Yamato surmised that this was probably what it felt like to be suffering from amnesia. Though had he told Koushirou he probably would have gotten a patient sigh and a lecture.

So it was as he was contemplating these thoughts that the castle came into his line of sight. It was quite majestic looking and loomed over the land like a castle from a fairy tale.

Yamato stared at the castle in awe; but it wasn't so much the size that had him staring at it in what can only be explained as aversion. He was simply overwhelmed by the purple-ness of the castle and opened his mouth to say so but Taichi interjected.

"She hates it too."

"Who?"

"The Queen of Hearts." Taichi said matter-of-factly. "She wants it pink."

"That's hardly an improvement."

Taichi shrugged.

They hadn't reached the courtyard when they heard Daisuke's outcry

"It's all your fault,"

"How is it my fault"

Taichi led them seamlessly around the castle to the garden gates and closer to the commotion.

"You told her that if we painted this in a day it would stay."

That was when Yamato heard a voice he didn't recognize.

"I don't mind,"

"Oh that's my sister." Taichi said, pushing past the heavy purple doors.

Everyone stopped painting to look up at the new arrivals.

"Good morning everyone—" Taichi smiled gleefully and would have introduced the wide-eyed Yamato to the lot half-covered in pink paint when Ken launched himself at him growling—

"Good mourning is exactly what Blondie over there is going to be doing when I'm through with you."

Yamato blinked dumbfounded as the white rabbit and _his_ Cheshire cat wrestled each other on the green plush grass of the topiary filled rose garden.

"In my bed!" He straddled Taichi and would have punched him had the cat not knocked him off and pinned him to the floor.

"How would you know?"

"On the couch too" added Miyako.

"Don't add gasoline to the fire!" spat Daisuke running over to try to pry Taichi off Ken.

"Wouldn't that be _fuel_ to the fire?" corrected Takeru joining him in his struggle.

Daisuke was about to forget about Ken and Taichi and launch himself at Takeru when Iori quietly but firmly voiced his opinion between snarls and reproaches.

"Don't make things worse, get Taichi—get your boyfriend off Taichi this instant."

The hatter, which consequently was no longer donning his hat turned and realized that Ken was now shaking Taichi violently and had thrown Takeru off.

Amidst the accusations, the insults, and the giggly lewd jabs coming from Miyako and Sora; it finally dawned on Yamato that _he_ was the topic—at least half the topic—that they were all referring to.

He instantly turned deep red with embarrassment only to just as quickly turn white in mortification.

It somehow was able to attract everyone's attention long enough to stop the commotion.

The Queen of Hearts who had been watching the whole ordeal in thinly veiled annoyance made her presence known then, for it seems that they had all but forgotten about her.

"Now that, that is settled," Mimi stated thrusting a pail and a brush each. "start painting."

Yamato looked at the brush and was about to sputter his indignation but thought better of it considering she seemed to be looming at him at a height of ten feet. When in actuality, they were if anything the same height.

So they all got to work while Mimi overlooked their progress whilst fanning herself in an annoyed kind of manner. Luckily, all went without incident.

Yamato, thanked the mindless task, since it averted everyone's attention away from him. Consequently, every time any one started to say something, the Queen of Hearts would toss her fan at the person's head with eerie accuracy.

Which was the way he noticed the blue haired boy who he would have assumed to be King due to the crown that adorned his head, but the way he kept being sent to retrieve the fan and ordered around in general greatly confused the blonde.

It was slightly past the eleventh hour when everyone finished painting. Yamato felt exhausted and wondered why he even joined them to begin with. But he helped everyone double and triple check all of the rose bushes to make sure that every rose was painted lest all their work be for naught. And once everything was in order, the Queen rose from her chair and had everyone line up before her.

"Ken, this better stay or else it's off with your head."

Yamato looked at the Queen wide eyed and looked over at Ken, but to his surprise the boy didn't seem all that terrified, if anything he had a look of indifference.

"Alright, everyone to the dining hall." She turned and walked three steps forward and turned around again. "And change I don't like everything purple, but the last thing I want is purple with splashes of pink."

Taichi wrapped an arm around Yamato. "Let's go change."

The blonde's eyes sparkled. "So, I can change into something other than a dress?"

"Well," Taichi looked up trying to find a way to break the news as gently as possible, but he unfortunately forgot that Miyako was in their company.

"You can't."

Yamato frowned. "Why not"

"Because," said Sora, offering no further explanation.

Yamato looked up at Taichi accusingly.

"It's not my fault." Taichi defended. "You can try to change into one of my suits, but I doubt it will do any good."

For some apparent reason, they all had a change of clothes at the castle. Which was something that Yamato could not grasp. In fact, much to his horror there right in front of him was his dress.

Taichi smiled at him apologetically. "You can try to get into one of my sui—"

"It's fine." The blonde spat flatly. He was starting to get used to the injustices of this world.

So after quickly changing their clothes and making sure they didn't manage to transfer any of the wet paint onto their new change they set off to the banquet hall.

By the time they arrived to the banquet hall everyone else had already managed to assemble there and were busy chattering and bickering amongst each other.

Koushirou looked away blushing madly and would have run away had the Queen of Hearts not threatened to take away his library privileges.

Yamato suddenly felt queasy and would have turned and ran back into the guest room had Taichi not dragged him to the end of the table. To his dismay he ended up next to Miyako. Thankfully the Queen suddenly stood up calling everyone's attention.

"Next on the agenda, the castle. Ken any ideas?"

"We should wait to see if it works on the roses. We can't paint the castle in 24 hours if we even tried."

"More importantly," spoke Koushirou. "our current situation"

"We're dead." Ken said flatly.

They all sighed.

The thought had never run past Yamato's mind. But that would explain why he wasn't hungry.

"Wait." Yamato hadn't realized he had said it aloud.

Taichi elbowed him.

"That makes no sense." The blonde continued unperturbed.

"Like everything else does?" Ken pointed out.

"But back at—" started Yamato before Taichi interrupted him

"I make sense. This lot," he said specifically pointing at Miyako and Sora. "doesn't"

"I just don't remember Taichi dying."

Never one to miss a chance in the limelight Taichi sprung.

"That's right. Yamato is my love that transcended dimen—"

He was interrupted by the clunk of a silver teakettle colliding with his head. Taichi was about to launch himself at Daisuke had Yamato not been fed up with everyone.

"Listen, I didn't just randomly sleep with him. He was my boyfriend for three years on the other side until he disappeared." He felt it was of great importance to mention how long he'd been with him.

Koushirou was already brooding.

"So it's plausible to say we all knew each other." Ken drawled out.

"It's too soon to jump to conclusions."

"Jyou don't be so negative." chided Sora.

"For once I agree with the King of Hearts."

"Drop the titles Miya."

"Never!"

Takeru rolled his eyes.

"But Miya's right. If that were true Mad Hatter and co. would have realized it." concluded Sora.

"Not necessarily."

"Miya what are you talk—"

"Takeru has yet to deflower Iori-chan and that seems to be the—"

"Miyako!"

"—catalyst."

"Unless…they weren't together," mused Sora.

They all looked at the four boys.

"Somehow I can see how Take-chan and Iori weren't an item but I can't imagine these two keeping their hands to themselves." deliberated Miyako.

"What?! We fooled you for—" Daisuke was about to argue when Yamato started laughing hysterically and started sputtering unintelligible words.

"He lost it." commented Iori.

But Taichi's smile grew wide and turned devilishly to look at Daisuke and Takeru.

"What would you say if I told you he was your older brother."

"My brother is a cross dresser."

Yamato had finally quieted down enough to toss a teacup at him, which was deftly dodged by Takeru.

"You serious?"

Taichi nodded.

Suddenly Hikari grew deathly pale.

"So what would you do if I told you that—"

"Don't." Hikari said sickly.

Both boys looked at each other hesitantly.

"Don't tell me he was my…" Takeru started.

Yamato shook his head violently, his stomach was starting to hurt.

"Even better, you were fighting over Hikari." Yamato thought he was going to die laughing.

The look of mortification on their faces was too hilarious.

Takeru rested his forehead on his hand and was staring at the table. While Daisuke pleaded with Ken, as it seemed Ken had remembered something not very welcome.

After everyone quieted down a bit and Yamato had yet to wipe the smug smile from his face, Koushirou stood up.

"Alright, it's established. The catalyst has to be shock."

Everyone shrugged. Daisuke and Takeru had yet to recover.

"So for all we know Jyou and Ken are brothers." observed Miyako

"That's ridiculous." Jyou exclaimed.

"You do have blue hair…" Sora pointed out.

"I have an older brother he's a doctor." Jyou continued.

"Dead." Ken's eyes widened. "My older brother is dead."

"Well that solves the death theory." stated Koushirou dryly.

Jyou looked a bit miffed at being ignored and Yamato couldn't help but fell sorry for him.

Koushirou sighed heavily. "Okay, so let me get this straight. Taichi and Blondie were dating; their siblings are Hikari and Takeru respectively. Daisuke and Takeru were both hitting on Hikari; Ken seemed to have a thing for Daisuke…..wait where does that leave the rest of us?"

"I'm pretty sure we all knew each other." stated Yamato, having finally recovered from hysterics.

"I bet you're gonna say something cliché, like, the thing that ties us together is that we are actually chosen children who battled evil in a different dimension and were now transported to this parallel universe." quipped Sora.

"That's actually not a bad hypothesis." mused Koushirou.

"I can't remember anything." fumed Mimi a bit irked at being ignored for such a long period of time.

"We can't remember a whole lot either." Taichi shot back.

"But you are the ones with the most memory." said the Caterpillar thoughtfully. "Maybe it's because Yamato has only been here a few hours…"

"So how did you all get here?" asked Yamato out of sheer curiosity.

"Chasing the white rabbit." said Hikari. "Well, except Taichi he was following me."

"And I don't remember how I got here." Ken sighed.

There was an uncharacteristic silence that overtook the room then.

"But, does that mean you all want to leave here?" spoke Yamato breaking the silence.

"I suppose so," Koushirou said slowly. "the question is how."

"Oh oh oh!!! I know I know!!! Miyako jumped up excitedly. "The carpenter and the oyster story!"

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"We've all heard the story before Miya." Daisuke said exasperatedly.

"No," insisted Miyako. "that's not what I meant."

"She has a point" Sora said perking up.

They all looked at the girls quizzically. It was never smart to take either seriously since neither was very sane.

"The story says that the Hida cutie may or may not have gone back to where he belonged. Maybe he went back past the door!"

"That's not a bad hypothesis." considered Koushirou. "but even if we do find a portal of sorts…what about the door?"

Miyako grimaced. "Maybe she'll come across when we cross."

"More importantly," exclaimed Mimi. "where would we find this portal."

"Well it would have to be by the beach." stated Sora matter-of-factly.

"I've never been to the beach." pouted Daisuke.

"Well that's probably because we don't really know where the beach is." stated Ken

Koushirou scratched his head pensively. "Miyako, where did you get the story in the first place?"

"The library."

"Okay, so we'll just have to scour the library until we find the location to see if there even is a portal that will get us out of here."

"Meeting adjourned." concluded Mimi. "You can all stay here if you like."

"Come on Yama," Taichi prodded the blonde. "let's go to bed."

Yamato was a bit overwhelmed by the outcome of the day. But was pleased to find that he would be leaving this place soon. It was fun and all but all he really wanted was to go back home.

So with that, they all got up and retired to their respective rooms for a goodnight's rest.

------------------------------

Yamato: You wait years to update and you update with this trash?

Kaitoumiko: Stop picking on me T_T

Taichi: She didn't even bother to end it.

Kaitoumiko: I promise the next chapter is the last one.


End file.
